You gotta do this….

Date: February 29, 2012....

Time: To be determined by you. That is what makes virtual so great!

Distance: 2.9 miles....

Another perfect reason to keep my butt moving. Loving it!!! (thanks Deb)

Blessings my friends!!

Bye mom…

It’s not mama anymore which is taking getting use too. Mike left this morning at 6:30 for another 10 days. Gone to someplace in the tri-state area, probably North Dakota but not positive until they are headed out the door. When he gets to work first thing Monday morning it’s unloading the semi to fill up the trucks and getting the crews together and then they know who they are working with and where they are going.

Take the stuff on the right and put it in the truck on the left and get to work. Mike was able to put some money into his college saving this pay period. YEAH!! He got caught up on insurance, paid the school for his housing down payment and paid off grandpa for his starter money when he worked away. Plus he bought me breakfast. I was impressed and happy and very proud. We had a great time while he was home and now will do my best to get stuff done while he’s gone.

Our trade, I will lose 5 pounds while he’s gone and he won’t lose anymore. I think that’s a fair trade. He’s at the perfect weight and is healthy and happy so told him eat well, sleep well and take care of himself and I will do the same. He worries I don’t eat when he’s gone so told him I’ll be good and get rid of an extra 5 lbs while eating healthy. I can try my best.

No bus driving today or tomorrow (or at least no call in’s yet) so think tonight I’ll take my daddy swimming. I don’t like the gym on Monday’s because of all the people so am hoping the pool won’t be so full. Tomorrow morning I’ll get to the gym by 5:30 and get a good workout in. Fruit was horrible expensive this week so other then apples and banana’s and a couple cans of pineapple we are fruitless. That’s plenty for the week just no good blue berries, raspberries or grapes. I did get some wonderful salad makings minus the tomatoes but will survive. I also picked up skinless chicken breasts. A good start for the week.

Today is Casey’s doctor appointment, please keep her in your prayers.

I’m off to take a quick shower and get my daycare day started. The laundry is already started, the fire is taken care of so just the chickens need attention and then Joss. It’s time to start some Valentine projects. I am also going to install my mama’s new printer and start my wood project. I’ll share pictures tomorrow when I get started on it.

Take care my friends and have a blessed day. I am going to try my best not to cry and learn that this is part of life and that I can handle it. Simple, nope but a fact of life to learn to deal with and move forward.

E2E Challenge … week 4…

So it seemed to take me awhile to get myself together. I’m not all together yet but getting better. I still cry so easily and I do reach for sympathy food often but this past week I reached but did not eat. The only bad calorie day was today and it was because Mike took me to Perkin’s for breakfast and I ate. I had 2 scrambled eggs, breakfast potatoes and some sausage with peppers and a cup of hot chocolate. I won’t take any of that back because sitting across the table from me is a young man that is making me more proud by the day and it was what he ordered for me. My sweet tooth has been tamed and I was able to have some candy corn tonight (Mike shared 10 pieces with me) and I haven’t craved any more and really that stuff was really sweet.

So the scale decided it was going to be happy with my week of work. It said 186.2 that’s down better then a pound in a half. My waist is down a inch so back to 40”, however these things are good there is a lot to reverse to get back where I need to be but it’s a start.

Today I did something I’ve never done. I went for a 5K run in the snow. I hike in the snow, I walk in the snow but I run on the treadmill or on the road in the summer but never have I ran in the snow. It took me 48 minutes to run in the snow, that’s forever compared to 35 or less on the treadmill but the snow and ice made it a challenge. I worked hard at this, beyond anything I’ve ever done.

My quote for this challenge is: "If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it." -Priscilla Welch  Well today I did something different and it was awesome.

I’m still working on understand the changes in my life. Some of them due to age, some of them due to changes in life and some of them just normal life moving forward. My book has touched on quite a few of these. It’s a great book.

I have been much better at stopping by and supporting you all. Blogger still have issues at times where I can’t leave a comment or the comment gnome eats the comment and you never get it. If you have an e-mail I will send you a note if I can’t comment too. 

My partner Casey is doing pretty good considering her body isn’t cooperating with her on a few different levels. She keeps plugging away at everything and is an awesome person and she is there for me to lean on and support me.

My menu planning worked pretty darn good this week. Not having a certain food for each day but a category to eat from make it so easy. I’m going to work with the same menu last week. My calories are about 1300 a day with the carbs close to 100. My proteins and fats are always very close too.

I made it to the gym 3 times this week with at least 1 1/2 hours each time and once at least 2 hours. I have worked on the fish flopping exercises plus I got out 3 mornings for a 1 1/2 mile run before daycare has even started. So that means at least 8 hours of exercise this week. 16.5 miles ran too.

So I’m getting back to where I need to be. It did help knowing Mike was going to be home this week. Now he’ll be off again next week for 10 more days away so I am hoping to get a handle on this and just learn to enjoy some new me time.

Here’s to a great week for me, for you, for all of us. We can do this. I know we can, we have too. We all want to be happy and healthy.

Take care and God Bless!!!

Did, done and it was hard…

Now I usually run on the treadmill in the winter time. I do some short runs on the tar and lots of hikes in the snow but I have never ran a 5K in the snow on a trail that isn’t cleared but I did today. It wasn’t fast, it wasn’t easy but I am proud of myself for doing it. 48 minutes at a snails pace some of the time and at a good trot the rest and at the end I looked like this. Huffing and a puffing and so glad to see Mike and the truck.

Starting out was better….

 

Thank you for hosting this run, Adam.

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Now I found my next thing I want to do. It’s here and called 

It’s about picking 1 thing for health the weekend of February 10-12 and doing it. It can be anything you want and I want to run again in the snow. I want to run a bit faster then the 48 minutes it took me today. This challenge is hosted by Lori at Finding Radiance.

So I guess I’ll be working out a bit more in the ice and snow. Michele, I used the yaktrax you sent me last year for this and they worked perfect. Thank you!!

Onward and forwards. I’m trying, how are you doing?

Blessings my friends!!

Mike’s home…

Mike got home last night. YEAH!!! It feels so good to have him home. He look so tired and pale but it felt so good to rub the knots out of his muscles and to chat with him and fix him dinner and breakfast.

While Mike slept in this morning I went and worked out. I didn’t want to go but I went and spent over an hour burning up as many calories as possible and sweating all those bad bugs out. I found this quote and really liked it.

"No one ever drowned in sweat."
-Author Unknown

I have to drive this afternoon. I’m taking the 8th grade basketball team to Pequot Lakes for a game and family night. It will be a much later getting back then usual but that’s fine. I have daycare tomorrow and also a short bus run in the late afternoon but Mike said he’d love to watch Joss and she’s been asking for Mike so it’ll be perfect.

Tomorrow is my E2E challenge update. I am hoping that I have removed some of the past 3 weeks damage. It’s a been hard but I really need to turn this around and at least get back to my start point and move forward.

So I’m off. Take care my friends and have a blessed afternoon.

Midweek update…E2E…

Well I think I have worked myself out of the funk though I think it has a lot to do with the tea and the fact that Mike is on his way home for 4 days. We’ll see next week how I handle a new 10 day stretch. I am hoping better then I have the last three weeks.

I am following the menu I shared with you, I am exercising except not getting in the usual 8 hours a week but so far 3.5 and tomorrow will get another 2 early in the am. I haven’t stepped on that scale but I can feel a difference in my pants so hopefully I’ve rid myself some of the excess water and puffiness I was having last week and a couple of pounds would be nice too. I have a big issue I haven’t figured out the plan for yet. I need to drink my 100oz of water a day and when I don’t I can feel it but with driving bus it’s really different since you just can’t go whenever you have to go. Since this coming rest of this week and early next I only drive late afternoons it won’t be back I’ll just get most of my fluids in before noon and then again when I get home but when I drive both am and pm it’s harder. Just an issue to figure out.

I have supported a whole bunch of you and so many of you have returned the favor. Most of us have finally gotten into this challenge, some (like me) seemed to need a hit on the head while other hit the pavement running. It’s amazing how the Lord has made us all so different but so many of us have a common get healthy goal.

My book is still sitting there unread, the running books, but I am reading my other challenge book. It’s a lot about the midlife issues that I am dealing with and beginning to learn from. I am usually a go with the flow type of girl but it has seemed in the last month I am fighting change tooth and nail and I’m not happy with that so time to try and figure out the inside while the outside gets better too.

 

I am also thinking it’s time to get out my sewing and start a few sewing projects. I always feel better when I’m creating so in-between life I think a nice project will make the evenings Jim is out in the garage and Mike is gone more manageable.

So my midweek is better then last weeks but still not the Julie that I was before Christmas but I’m getting more focused, I’m getting my crap together and I’m learning.

Take care my friends and have a blessed afternoon.

You asked….Meet Terri….Womens' Hormonal Support...

I want you to meet Terri…There is so much to Terri to get to know but I’m just going to touch the beginning and then you can go and check out her website, her home, her new adventure in Women’s Health and so much more.
I met Terri back when both our boys were in cub scouts. I remember seeing her in the gym at a lock in, in Brainerd and she was talking to someone about some of her herbal things and Mike had just gotten over pneumonia and I finally got up enough guts to ask her what she thought would be good for Mike. From that day forward Terri has kept Mike and I happy and healthy with all kinds of her ideas, ways and goodness she makes. It has been, well I can’t remember the last flu I had and as for colds, I might get one a year and they are very short lived, 5 days max. She’s helped me manage my headaches and much more.
Terri and I are a few years apart in age but she’s has more knowledge in her baby finger then I have in my whole brain. If I have any questions she’s always there with an answer or if she doesn’t know she will figure it out.
Terri is a herbalist, a master gardener, a artist, crafter, soaper and animal lover and the bestest friend.
She does have a personal blog but she hasn’t updated it in a while but you can check it out anyways.
The biggest thing happening for her right now is her and a friend are opening a Woman’s Wellness Center. They have a website Called Wise Women's Ways. Go check it out and awe in all what they are doing for woman of all ages and kinds.
The reason I wanted you to meet Terri was because she’s the one that I got my Hormonal tea from. She makes it at home with herbs and such she has grown and picked. The tea is called Women’s Hormonal Support. It’s made with Comfrey Leaf, Stinging Nettle Leaf, Red Clover Flowers, Oat Straw, Lemon Balm Leaf, Chamomile Flowers and more. It’s Natural and Pesticide free. She says that it provides protein, minerals. phytoestrongens, and special fats needed by menopausal women. You take it one week prior to your period or when you expect it to be and it’s suppose to help. Now I just started it so I can’t say to much yet but I am feeling better so not sure if it’s the tea or me but I’m going to finish this week with it and try it again in 3 weeks and just see how it all goes.
Nothing Terri has had me try has hurt me, in fact I drink Colloidal Silver all winter along, I take her Elderberry Extract (that’s for supporting the immune system) and when I was having my hateful headaches from stress she made me an oil that you put on your chest that would make you inhale deeply and it really helped. There’s more, like her hand lotions and soaps and Mike’s favorite her healing suave.
So there, now you know what I’m taking for the Hormonal support. Want to know more about Terri go to the links I added.
Thank you Terri for all that you do for me. You are a dear and great friend and I am sure I don’t know where I’d be without you and your boys.
Take care my friends and have a blessed afternoon.

287 calorie breakfast….

67 carbs and 2g fats, 6g fibers so for me excellent!! Oathead oatmeal, 100 calorie packet, blueberries, banana and 100 calorie fat free yogurt. And the hormonal tea. And the best part, it’s filling. I’m learning to eat in those little bowls. It helps my mind thing it’s getting more, it works.

Soup is cooking, turkey is ready to add, seasons are on it’s way.

Time to take Joss outside to play. Blessings!!

What’s cooking?

It will be homemade turkey soup. Corn, beans, peppers, carrots, onions, garlic, tomatoes, green tomatoes, and of course turkey. Haven’t decided if it’ll be a noodle soup or add potatoes. Haven’t added any seasonings yet but that’s later on once things start to melt and fit in the pot better. All the veggies are what I put up from my garden. YEAH!!! for gardens.
Just thought I’d share what I’m making this morning. A huge stock pot full so there’s plenty for the store, us, my parents and my daycare family.
Since Joss didn’t come till 8:30 this morning I went out for a walk/run. Only 1.5 miles because it’s so slick out there but out and about and now ready to stay on track today. I put the scale away for the week, I’ll see what it has to say on Friday. Can’t get worse so only better is best.
Mike will be home Thursday, I’m excited. He has to leave again on Monday for another 10 days but I’m learning to live with it. He worked 100 hours last week Mon-Sun. Those are some very long days insulating but he’s okay with it and enjoying the independence so YEAH!!! for Mike.
Take care my friends, off to fix Joss and I some breakfast. I’m thinking oatmeal and yogurt with fruit. I’m really hungry so better have a big breakfast.
Blessings!!

A few pictures to share…

On my way to the bus garage after my work out. It’s snowed last night and this morning.

My little bus I drove today. See it in the mirror? I usually drive a big bus, today was a treat. Just a short run today.

My daddy and Mike’s puppy Scout. I spent Saturday over there this weekend. She had to join us for dinner. Mama and daddy, we watched some program they like. And here’s what I was working on too.

 

My supper last night and my lunch this afternoon. 187 calories. Fat free yogurt, 1/3 banana, blue berries and a couple strawberries (I know Kim I’m allergic but took some Benadryl first). Excellent and very filling.

Buildings that Mike is working on in North Dakota.

The coal elevator we’re still working on. Really Jim more then me. I’m just the helper, gopher and moral support.

The price for organic eggs and these were the cheaper ones. I sell 18 for $4.00, my customers are happy.

A bucket full of clinkers and one huge on. This is what left over coal looks likes. It doesn’t have much loose ash, it sorta sticks together and makes clinkers.

Just a few things happening here and sharing. Hope your Monday is grand. So far so good here. Take care and have a blessed afternoon.

Of course things change…

And I wasn’t able to go grocery shopping quite like I had planned. We still went but on our way there my daycare parent called and cancelled daycare for 2/3 of next week so the money in the budget for shopping didn’t happen however I sold $12.00 in eggs this week and I had $10.00 left over from last week so I bought fruits and salad makings and a gallon of milk. Really all in all that’s just fine because my freezer still has tons of produce I put up this past summer and my friend gave me some hamburger and rabbit for Christmas, plus my MIL gave us a turkey last week I need to bake.  I was just sorta looking forward to trying a meal or two of those Healthy Choice or those kinds. Oh well, all is fine anyways. Here is a peek of what I am planning for my meals this week.

Breakfast is Oathead Hearty Oatmeal. It’s 100 calories a packet. I’ll also have an apple and 1/2 cup of milk. Another day I’ll have an egg and piece of toast with my grape jam on it. There is also a box of Total here and it says 100 calories a serving so I think that will work out just fine. I have banana’s and blue berries and got some 100 calorie fat free yogurt. All this will work for snacks too.

Lunch I bought a huge bag of salad mix and spinach, tomatoes and peppers. I have one day of chicken in a 3 oz bag I did last Friday so will have that one day and then there’s thin sliced ham from Mike’s lunch he forgot to take last week. That will all work out and since I’m not one for salad dressings I can add a little bit of extra something to make a good lunch each day. I also have my homemade tomato soup I should start eating and I know that stuff turned out awesome and very low anything.

Suppers, I’m going to bake a turkey up probably on Monday between bus routes and will be able to have that for a few days in different ways. I bought whole wheat pasta for spaghetti and also some shell noodles in wheat so can make up a hot dish with my stew tomatoes. Maybe a soup would be better because I have all those veggies.

I didn’t buy peanut butter, not sure I’ll live without my peanut butter but it sure isn’t going to hurt not having it. I have lots of different jams and jellies I put up and I never use a lot of sugar in them so they can be my sweetener if I needs something.

I haven’t had any candy, cookies or that kind of stuff for over two weeks so I’m not craving the sweets like I was. I still think a lot about desserts but haven’t indulged.

Exercise will start back up tomorrow. I slacked last week but that’s not happening anymore. It can’t, I need to get back into the groove and start to feel human again.

Now I’m off to spend some time with Jim and then later this evening I plan on spending the time stopping by everyone’s blog and seeing how you’re doing and what’s new. I have at least 20 stops I need to do, I need to get back into the supportive Julie, the I that will kick your behind if need be or pat your back if you’ve been good and encourage you like you’ve all been doing me this past month. And to just learn from you, cherish your photo’s you share, your life story and so much more. I love reading and commenting (when blogger lets me that is) and writing to you. Thank you for being here for me.

Take care everyone and have a great week. Mine will be a bit screwy but it is what it is. Thank goodness I have bus driving when daycare isn’t. God Bless you all!!!

The sun is shining and I’m going outside…

Even if it is still 12 below. I slept in today. I don’t normally get to do that but I got Jim off to work and fell back to sleep until 8:15. A good night sleep does make the day brighter and to wake up to the sunshine. Now this day I can handle.

As you all know I struggle with menu’s. It’s a stupid struggle but when it’s just me for supper and a one year old for breakfast and lunch it’s really different. I have never gone grocery shopping for just me foods and tomorrow that is what I get to do. I know that whatever I get for me Joss can eat so I can really plan a menu and stick to it. As long as I get the groceries for it. Debbi has offered me some advice on menu’s and she has some really great recipes to check out. And I found this….of course I copied and pasted it without the link but here’s the full page. I am going to use it to plan my menu next week. Also for me, if I can work up something that has flavor and is filling I can follow the same one for weeks without much changing. Just gotta get the first one done.

1200 Calorie Diet Plan for Women

Servings/day

Fruit (2-3 svgs) Choose from:

4 oz. juice (1/2 cup)

1/2 cup sliced/chopped cooked or raw fruit
(fresh, frozen, or canned.)

1 whole medium piece of fruit

1/4 cup dried fruit

Vegetables (2-3 svgs) Choose from:

4-6 oz. juice (1/2 – 3/4 cup)

1/2 cup fresh non-leafy vegetables

1/2 cup cooked vegetables

1 cup fresh leafy greens

NOTE: Choose at least 5 total fruit and vegetable servings a day for a healthier diet. Have no more than 1 serving of fruit or vegetable juice per day

Whole grain breads and cereals (preferred) (3-4 svgs) Choose from:

1/2 cup high fiber dry cereal (about 80-100 calories with
4+ grams of fiber)

1 slice high fiber bread with at least 2 grams of fiber

about 1/2 cup whole grain crackers (less than 100 calories with 2+ grams fiber)

1/2 cup cooked whole grain (brown rice, pasta, cereal)

1 SMALL whole grain muffin (about 150-160 calories providing 1/2 svg whole grain plus 1/2 serving fat)

Refined grain breads and cereals such as white bread (Try to avoid on a 1200 calorie diet. Eat only when whole grain choices are not available.)

Lean meat, fish, poultry, eggs, or beans (1-2 svgs)
Choose from:

2 oz. lean meat, fish, or poultry

1/2 cup cooked dried beans (legumes)

1 egg

1 Tbsp. peanut butter or other nut butter

Low fat and nonfat dairy (2 svgs) Choose from:

1 cup skim milk or 1% milk

1/2 cup 1% cottage cheese

1-2 oz. light cheese

1 cup low fat yogurt

Fats (1-4 svgs) Choose from:

1 tsp. healthy oil (such as olive oil or canola) or soft margarine

1 tsp. regular mayonnaise

1 Tbsp. low-fat mayonnaise

1 Tbsp. regular salad dressing

2 Tbsp. light salad dressing

Nuts and Seeds (A healthy choice but high in calories eat only on occasion.) Choose from:

1/2 oz. nuts

1 Tbsp. seeds

Sweets/other (1-2 svgs) Choose from:

1 tsp. maple syrup, sugar, jelly, or jam

1 gingersnap

1 vanilla wafer

Manageable, right? I think so. If anyone has other ideas or thoughts about this I’m game to listen. I live in the sticks and our groceries are the pretty normal kind plus I’m a farm girl which means something like humus or artichokes or ….. well the strange things I’m not going to buy and just see if I like since I have a limited budget of $40.00 a week for groceries. I’ll share my first menu plan when I get it worked up today but for now I have to go clean out the coal stove and then take care of the animals and head over to mama’s to do some visiting and working on her computer.

So take care my friends and thank you for all your help. I have never ever felt like this in my life but I am planning on crawling back out and moving forward. Terri gave me some hormonally tea tincture she made up and I’m going to start that today. Betty suggested that and so did Terri last week. Maybe that’s part of all of this too. We’ll see.

Blessings you all!!! And thank you too!!!

E2E update and lots of life…

Wednesday I told how things have been going for me. I have been putting off writing this update all day. Well really I drove bus today plus daycare and my husband aunt fell and I need to stop and check on her, then the usual stuff but I’m still dragging my butt writing this. I hate to admit defeat. I hate admitting I suck at this the past 3 weeks. I hate to admit my emotions are getting the best of me. I am depressed, tired, ready to cry and lonesome. Now I have been doing much better the past two days. I’ve put my best foot forward and have started over but these feelings are still running through my mind. I have started journaling, I have started leaning on the Lords shoulder a lot more and I have started being the mom not mama, a wife and not the mother of son, a woman that is learning to stand alone more often then not. But to start over I have to have a starting spot so here comes the dreaded stuff, the disappointment, the wow, how could that all of happened in 3 weeks.

The rules for the challenge are clear and set in stone. Here they are along with my answers and then I have more to add, of course I do.

~Weight – Absolutely horrible……was 175.4 not now, now it’s 188 …….scary!!!

Look at these feet. Look at the swollen ugly feet. I can see the extra weight, I can feel the extra weight.

~Waist measure (and any other measurements you track) Not good either… was 39” now 41”

~How you are doing with caloric/food-plan and exercise goals? My calories the past two days are 1200, but not before that. When I cry I eat, when I’m worried I eat, when I’m scared I eat, when things aren’t bright and cheery I eat …. and really bright and cheery I ate too.

~How you're doing overall, mood, motivation, etc--well, not well, middling. I’m not doing great. I don’t think I’ve ever been depressed in my life but now I do understand when people talk about the deep dark hole. I have no motivation. I do know if this keeps up I’ll go to the doctor and have a chatter with him.

~Any comments you'd like to share about your books. Comment at least ONCE a week on your reading material! For now I’m not reading any health related book. I’ve been spending time in my bible and reading a lot of soul mending verses. Such as : So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness. - Matthew 6:34

~Do you need support, tips, a cyberhug? Oh the hugs and tips and support has been awesome and oh so appreciated. I’ve been a turd, a slug, a not so good supporter but a new week is about to happen and I’m going back to the Julie that I loved instead of this mess she is right now.

~Are you commenting on your buddy's blog? Both Casey and I try and connect at least a couple times a week by e-mail and both of use visit each other blogs and I have to say Casey has a mountain of advice and comfort words and support for me. Thank you Casey.

~Are you supporting at least 3 other challengers? I know I didn’t make it to everyone this week, I have before this week and I will this coming week but I apology for the lack of support this week.

~Feel free to take a pic to show us progress if you're doing amazing! If I took a picture you’d all throw up. I’m tired looking, frumpy, and just down right scary. Maybe when I get back into the challenge things will improve.

~Make sure to include your guiding quote (even if you changed it) with your update. My quotes for this challenge are about running but right now I need something else…the quotes I like are posted on my right side (the running ones), the one for this coming week is:

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
~George Sand~

And no matter what I felt like this week I know that I am loved. And I just need to remember that.

Remember: If your buddy looks about to miss an update and linky, remind them, prod them, encourage them, and get them in before the deadline! Get them on board! Casey always remembers and takes care of it but if she weren’t able too I’d step in to help.

On we go....never giving up! NO MATTER WHAT I’M NOT GIVING UP!!! I might of felt like it but I’m not a quitter and I don’t plan on starting now. A new day, a new week, a new frame of mind, a new in the works me.

I’m going to work up a to do list for next week. Something I can look at each day and know what’s next that way if I get to feeling like this next week I’ll have something to keep me on track. It’s just so weird not feeling normal. I’ll share my list as I get it put together.

Oh and something never to say to a mama when her son is leaving the nest….Everyone has done it, you’ll live. THAT SUCKS!!!! I’m not everyone and I know I’ll live.

Take care my friends. A stupid update with nothing fantastic but I’m trying.

Blessings to you all. Have a great weekend.!!

Cold enough for you?

5 am

9:15 am

Not warming up much and really at 5 am it wasn’t windy, now the wind is picking up. IT’S COLD!!!

Hope you’re all have a great day. It’s early still but I am planning on being the best I can be. Take care and God Bless!!

Multi tasking…and mid-week update…

When I leave tomorrow morning:

5 am
-14° F
-32° F Wind-chill

This is what it’s going to be like tomorrow morning plus with the snow we got this afternoon/night it’s going to be drifting pretty good. I drive bus again tomorrow and have 3 major backing turn arounds into hidden driveways and I’m not really looking forward to that in the dark and cold. But I’ll do it and get the kids safely to school. I just will.

Tonight on the way home. I had dropped off all the kids and had to stop and clean the ice off the windshield so took this picture.

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My diet has sucked the big wad this week. Sorry but can’t help it, it has. Really it’s been since Christmas time that I just haven’t gotten back on track like I should. When Mike sprung college on me it was like my life just stopped but, yep there’s a but, I have come to terms with it and with Mike working away and am hoping that I get back into the groove and lose what I’ve regained and tighten up this mess. I have sorta let myself go and though I knew better it just didn’t seem to matter. I am however still exercising and not eating sweets (no candy, cookies and such for over a week) so still taking care of that but I haven’t done anything else. So tomorrow I am going to try my best to get back on track.

The scale is not going to be kind on Friday when I weigh in and that tape measure better have a few extra inches on it but I fell off the wagon, fell off the horse but I learned something along the way and that is what this is all about anyways, learning and learning how to handle life and diet and exercise and keep my head on my shoulders instead of up my butt. I could beat myself up and think about how hard it was to lose what I’ve gained back in less then a month but that won’t get me anywhere’s. I’m just going to start over. I’m going to treat this start over just like a new beginning which really it is in more ways then just the diet part.

I am starting out as a mom instead of a mama. I’m starting out as a wife instead of a mom to the son. I’m starting out as a bus driver/daycare mom trying to juggle all that. I’m starting out as an over weight person instead of the obese woman I was. I’m just going to start over. With goals to get done each week, goals I want to meet in a month and a challenge that ends before my 50th birthday where I want to be close to the normal range in both my bmi and weight. That means work, dedication and more work. I can get my head back into the game, I know I can. It’s just time to start over.

Friday will be my baseline for my start over. I will use that just like we all used in the beginning, just like this is going to be…a new beginning.

I am sure I have let a few of my followers down, I haven’t been pulling my weight, I haven’t been doing what I was suppose to be but I’m human and I make mistakes and sometimes they are pretty huge ones. This one has costed me a few months of working out and losing.

So tomorrow I’m driving bus at 5am, home at 9am, daycare until 2pm and driving until 6pm. My daddy comes and takes care of Joss in the afternoon until her mama comes so I’m able to keep up both daycare and bus driving and just maybe start to get caught up from so many months of being behind and now also helping Mike save for college. I haven’t figured out a schedule yet for working out. I’m only part time bus driver ( 3 days a week) so I’ll make sure I go to the gym the days I’m not driving and the days I am I’ll do my fish flopping exercise during nap time. I am going to get that menu planned and ready and I’m going to journal this time.

WOW, this really was a long update but I wanted to tell you what’s been on my mind this week with all the other stuff. I also want to be sure you all know how much I appreciated all your kind words, support, ideas, comments and love. It really helped me this week. I am hoping it helped me get my head out of my behinder and back on my shoulders so that I can get back to life.

Take care my friends. Blessings.

My partner…and not Wednesday but…

Yesterday was probably my lowest day yet, nope not the scale though that would be awesome, in my emotional life. I wasn’t handling Mike being gone very well at all. I cried tons (still am a bit) and then more some and finally decided to write a couple people I knew would understand or at least help me see something I’m not. I wrote Pam and told her exactly what I was thinking and feeling and since she’s just really getting into the empty nest thing I knew she’s know something. Pam told me to start a journal. I’m not a journalier, I really am afraid of who might see what I’m really thinking and feeling but after listening and writing to Pam I’m going to do that. In fact her order last night was to write what I was thinking. It didn’t have to be long or short, just what I was thinking. I wrote down what I was thinking….in my mind, not on paper yet but still just laid there and thought about it all. No revelations but still felt good to just put it all together. I talked to Michele on Saturday and though I have only met her in person one time it’s like she understands my thoughts and she has had some wonderful comments. But the biggest thing last night was when I got my e-mail from Casey my partner in the E2E challenge that everything became just a bit clearer and not even really clearer just more into perspective. She said this (I hope you don’t mind me sharing Casey but I can’t be the only one going through this and if your comment can help someone else….YEAH!!!)

“Oh Julie!

I was about to turn off my computer and decided to check my mail once more. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I'd just like to come and give you a great big, long hug. And I know that nothing I say can change the situation... so though I don't know what it feels like to have an only child leave home, know this, God knows what it feels like. He had to watch is only Son leave heaven to spend time on earth to save us. And He DOES know what you're going through and He CAN relate.

So sit down, close your eyes and imagine Him giving you that big hug I can't give you, ok.

Praying,

Casey”

WOW!!! I hadn’t thought of that, I hadn’t even really spent much time telling him about my feelings. I know he knows and I know I’ve talked to him about it but not REALLY TALKED about it. Between Pam’s idea and Casey’s comment I was able to just tell him what was wrong. It’s not a miracle, I don’t feel all put together and ready to move forward, not yet, but I do feel more in control of my feelings. I feel stronger, more able to be proud of Mike, more happy that he’s happy and so this is day one, day one to start seeing what I can do for me so that I can be the mama or really not mama anymore, the mom that Mike needs. The supporter instead of the nagger, the quiet person when he tells me his thoughts and ideas and not tell him it should be more this way instead of that way, the person for him to lean on when he needs it, not when I need it. I can do this!!!

Thank you everyone, I got some super sweet comments and hugs and thoughts when I really needed them. Everything time I need something you guys are out there ready to help, this blog world is amazing. You guys are amazing!!! THANK YOU!!!

Now it’s quiet here and time to really write down my thoughts, to start that journal. I have a special notebook that will be perfect for this, it says Julie’s Moments….Thoughts, prayers and ideas. I’ve been using for my life style changes so think I’ll go to the middle and start my thoughts and have them all in one place for that day when I want to look back and just see what I was doing, thinking and learning.

Blessings my friends.

Not doing good….

But I’ll do better once I get my head in the game and quite worrying about things I can’t change, can’t fix and need to learn to live with.

I’ll be back on Wednesday with a better attitude. It’s time to just learn and live and move forward.

Take care my friends, blessings to you all!!

Today I’m fat….

Or at least according to these low rise jeans I’m wearing. I found them back in my closet and thought I’d give them a try. WOW, my spare tire is filled with fat. Don’t think I like these jeans at all. Good thing it’s the weekend and no one will see me much today, at least not without my winter coat on.

I had a great workout this morning. The gym was nearly empty, my favorite thing, so got a great walk/run in and then the free weights and stomach and back machines. I was there for an hour and a half and then came home for a phone call, shower and some computer work. Now waiting for Jim to come home to take me out for lunch.

Mike is coming home late tonight and then heading back out early Monday morning for 10 more days away. This time in Minot, ND. This is really weird having him come and go like this but it is really a learning experience for us both. Tomorrow I’ll get him some more groceries to take with and then hopefully just be able to sit and chatter a bit with him.

Hey, I have a question, does any of you guy burn coal for a heat source? We are sorta learning as we go here this year and I was wondering about clinkers. They are hard pieces of ash the size of golf balls to milk jugs, that doesn’t burn up. I wanted to know are they good for anything other then door stops and ugly ones to boot. Just curious. What do you guys heat with?

I had other things to share with you but of course now I’m writing I can’t think of a darn thing to write about. So I guess I’ll just close for now and get my coat on meet Jim part way up the road. He just left town so it’ll be about 15 minutes.

So take care my friends and maybe I’ll come up with something to chat about later on, if not it’s the weekend and it’s time to relax, rejuvenate and enjoy. Take care and God Bless!!

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. ( Psalm 119:105 *NIV )

If only we could remember these:

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer for us!  After all.....

When You say, "It's impossible".
God says: "All things are possible". ( Luke 18:27 )

When You say, "I'm too tired."
God says: "I will give you rest". ( Matthew 11:28-20 )

When You say, "Nobody really loves me".
God says: "I love you". ( John 3:16 & John 13:34 )

When You say, "I can't go on."
God says: "My grace is sufficient." ( 2 Corin 12:9 &
Psalm 91:15 )

When You say, "I can't figure things out."
God says: "I will direct your steps." ( Proverbs 3:5-6 )

When You say, "I can't do it."
God says: "You can do all things in Me." ( Phil 4:13 )

When You say, "It's not worth it."
God says: "It will be worth it." ( Romans 8:28 )

When You say, "I can't forgive myself."
God says: "I forgive you." ( I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

When You say, "I can't manage."
God says: "I will supply all your needs." ( Phil 4:19 )

When You say, "I'm afraid."
God says: "I have not given you a spirit of fear."
                                                       ( 2 Tim. 1:7 )

When You say, "I'm always worried and frustrated"..
God says: "Cast all your cares on ME ( 1 Peter 5:7 )

When You say, "I don't have enough faith."
God says: "I've given everyone a measure of faith."  
( Romans 12:3 )

When You say, "I'm not smart enough."
God says: "I give you wisdom." ( 1 Corin 1:30 )

When You say, "I feel all alone."
God says: "I will never leave you or forsake you."
( Hebrews 13:5 )

Always remember that; Every Word of GOD is
Flawless; HE is a shield to those who take
refuge in HIM.  ( PROVERBS 30:5 )  For the Word
of GOD is living and active!    Amen.
                                           ( HEBREWS 4:12 )

E2E update and of course more….

Okay first the update. Weight, 178.8 so down a bit from 180 last week but not 175 when I started. My measurements, does 1/8” of an inch count? I didn’t think so either so will stick with 40” instead of the 39” when started, but I am starting to come back down and next week should show back to normal and a bigger scale change. Exercise has been good, not great but still got in 12 miles of running so far and 3 days at the gym so that’s good. Eating, NO SUGAR now for 3 days. No candy, no sweets, no added anything so I am proud of me. All in all I’m proud of this week.

My book for the week has been a love story. Oh I know it’s suppose to be health related but really it is. My brain is on overload right now, between Mike out of state, college loan paper work, bus driving, daycare, taxes and more I just couldn’t handle reading more running stuff so for now a slight break from that. I did also start a devotional book because I’ve been lacking in Christ time and I really need that.

I supported you all through out the week or at least I give it my best shot. As soon as everyone has their updates in I do visit you then and try to get a visit in or two to most of you through-out the week.

My quote is posted on my side bar (I just did that) and added a second one. I love them both.

So there’s my week in a nut shell. Not terrible at all but also not top notch. Improving and still a ways to go. Proud of myself but not overly so this coming week will work even harder.

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Today is my mama’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!

My mama is more then just my mama. She’s my best friend, my greatest supporter, my life saver, my holder of my balloon string, my turd in my pocket and so much more. When mama sees that I am at the end of my rope but I don’t know it yet, she’s there to pull me back, get my feet back on the ground and tells me to hold on and relax. Mama and I do everything together. I make sure if she wants to go, we do. I make sure if she wants to go camping, we do. If I am in the need of anything she’s here will bells on taking care of whatever it is I need. I love my mama so much. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!

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I am missing Mike. I’m not telling him that but I am. It’s been a super long week with him gone and he’s still not back for another 2-4 days. I will live and am learning too do so without his constant companionship. Mike took this picture for me the day before he left and I love it. It’s the place where we go and I do a lot of thinking and looking into the future. Lots of good things will be happening this year, a bit sad but a proud mama will be even more proud because Mike is doing what he wants and will have a great future because he’s doing this.

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It’s the weekend and I am having a phone chat with Michele about college, I’m putting a new to us computer together for my mama, I’m going to have lunch out with Jim on Saturday afternoon and breakfast on Sunday, I have to pay our jewelry sales tax after getting that did and done (daycare taxes are ready to roll, took 3 days of nap time but did and done), and we are still working on turning the corn elevator into a coal one. And I am sure there will be more to fill my weekend but I’m also hoping for some down time, just to relax and be.

 

 

The beginning pics. More to come as it gets closer to completion and Mike brings the camera home.

************************************************************************************************************

Oh I had my first activity trip last night. Took our dance team to Pequot Lakes. It is so much fun doing this trip and I really look forward to more of them. I also had a great teacher last night on the ins and outs of activities.

You want to know something that super cool about all of this? In my daycare I have had 4 of these All Starz performers and last night got the hugest hug from one. It is so awesome watching “my” wee ones grow up.

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So there you have it. A bit of an update, some filling in on what is and what’s to come. Now I hope you all have a great and blessed weekend. I’m always early with my updates, I don’t mind Friday-to-Friday updates instead of worrying about not getting things done on the weekend. I’ll be by to see how you all are doing. I wish you all the best. Take care my friends and please have a relaxing, restful, rejuvenating, blessed weekend.

Midweek update and more…

First and foremost……Candy for yesterday…drum roll please….NONE!!! Not a lick, not a touch, nothing. YEAH!!! And for our date night out last night, I ate 2 pieces of cheese pizza and 3 chicken wings and 2 huge glasses of ice-water. So for the day it was oatmeal and fresh fruit, a cup of tea and my supper. I call yesterday a huge success!! Day one down, day two is here.

A date out with my mama was wonderful. We had a great time and didn’t stop talking and laughing and just enjoying our time together until we got home at 10 and you know what, we set another date day for next Tuesday. YEAH!!! Loving it, loving my mama.

I was suppose to go and exercise this morning but the roads are pure ice and now it’s snowing on them so I didn’t go. I will workout during nap this afternoon. And then tomorrow I have a surprise part day off so I am going to go to the gym after school starts and most people are working so I don’t have to deal with tons of people and I will work my little heart out. I have a slight problem though and not sure if I’ll go see the doctor or just wait and see if it’s the weather. For the past month or so my joints have been really starting to hurt. Mostly my right elbow and finger joints. I’m not sure if it’s Arthur starting to visit, or maybe my Lyme's is back, or just what. I’m going to start taking my MSM for joints and also headaches that I have on a daily basis but that’s almost been an always and see if that helps. If not then it’ll be time for the doctor I suppose. Not my most favorite place to go, sick people are there and it’s spendy.

I did not step on the scale today, one day away from sugar isn’t going to show me anything so I’m not going to use it until Friday for my update. I won’t expect any miracles this week but if I can just keep this up I know it’ll be better.

I haven’t started my next book yet. I decided to take a break from reading healthy books and start a love story. I need a little bit something different for a few days and then I’ll get to my next book.

Casey and I write a couple times a week to check in on each other and she’s doing awesome!!

This morning we had eggs, 45 calorie toast with a smidge of peanut butter and a berry smoothie. A 388 calorie breakfast. Perfect and filling and ready to face the day. No candy today, nope just gotta kick this.

Take care my friends and have a blessed and awesome day!!

One day at a time…

That’s how I’m going to have to tackle my sweet addiction. It is so hard. There is so much I can do without but that sugar, my goodness does it have a huge hold on me. The scale is showing it too. I should be dropping what I gained from my period but it’s not budging, it’s stuck and I know why, it’s that sugar. It’s really terrible and I know better so for today, so for this morning, so for this hour I am not going to have any extra sugar. Just a small bowl of oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, a salad with lots of veggies for lunch and tonight mama and I are going out for dinner. It’s her birthday this week and we are going to go to Pizza Hut and have a stuffed crust cheese pizza and a huge glass of ice-water and then go to a movie. I don’t crave the pop-corn there, it never has asked me to eat it but the malted milk balls, now they scream my name so for today I will not have them. I will bring some sugar free gum with and chew that. I will bring in a bottle of water and just enjoy the movie mama picked.

I have too, I HAVE TOO!!! You know I never had this problem before. It was sometime this past summer when this sweet tooth found me. Oh I’ve liked my M&M’s but that was really about all. I didn’t just go to the store and look for candy, it was good to eat but I didn’t have to HAVE it, now … well I seem to think I HAVE to have it and I know better.

So today, one day at a time, one section of the day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time I will not have any today.

How are you doing today? Anything you just have to have and shouldn’t? How are you handling it?

Take care my friends and God Bless!!!

Remember when…

I said that when I go to the gym I am there to work out and burn up those calories? Well tonight for the first time ever I went to the gym and hated every single minute I was there. I was there for an hour and I was not a happy camper. You know why? Last month 200 new members signed up (which really is terrific but … ) and I swear they were all there tonight in our little itty bitty gym. We have 8 treadmills, 6 elliptical trainers, 4 bikes and 2 rows of exercise machines and then the free weigh area. There was people everywhere. I couldn’t breath in there, I was mad, I hate people (not always but in a group setting like that, yep I hate them all), and I couldn’t of keep my heart rate up if I wanted too because I had to wait for each machine. This is never going to happen again, I am going to go back to my 5am work outs and if I can’t go then I’m not going or I’ll wait until midnight when everyone should be in bed. UGH!!! It was such a waste of time tonight and I am very disappointed in me for not working my hardest but I couldn’t.

I had to get that off my chest. I am very glad that my gym has a huge membership maybe they can make some money and expand the place. It is a great gym and they have a wonderful pool, meeting rooms, hockey rink (that has free skating when not in use for hockey) and in the summer basket ball. It was just too full for my liking tonight.

But I did go, I did work out and I did burn up some calories so it wasn’t all bad.

I hope you all had a great Monday. Mike is in Minot ND tonight and tomorrow am on his way to Sidney Montana. It’ll be good for him to get out and about and see some country side and work in a different area for awhile and also learn a few things about being away and being prepared. I will learn how to do some of the things here alone and also eat alone because Jim has huge lunches he doesn’t eat supper at home. It’ll work out, another new chapter is about to start and a new learning experience along the way.

Take care my friends and have a blessed evening and a terrific day tomorrow.

First time on this blog….

I don’t normal take these things because I hate picking who deserves what but since this isn’t an award and I don’t have to feel like I’m picking someone over someone else I’ll do this one. It’s cool really!! So I’ve been tagged by Deanna and boy you have to go and read her Q&A’s.

So I’m suppose to give you 11 random things/thoughts:

1. I am afraid of being without Mike here at home.

2. I have a sugar addiction I can’t seem to break.

3. I get overwhelmed easily but I handle things pretty good.

4. When I make a friend I want to keep them for life, not just be a stepping stone in their lives.

5. I love, absolute love anything soft to wear.

6. Jim loves me to wear red, I HATE RED!!

7. Who’s going to be my hiking, camping, fishing, canoeing, support person when Mike is gone?

8. I need a hair trim bad. Gotta talk to Terri.

9. I love Bobby the monster kitty but want a kitty that loves me back.

10. I love meat, thick juice steak, pork chops, chicken, pork roast. Just don’t get it almost ever.

11. I love Jim and want to truly learn to love him as a hubby and not a daddy anymore.

11 questions for me to answer:

1. what is your favorite "diet" food? I found out red peppers are awesome.

2.  movie? I love Cars, Top Gun, Stripes, Ice Age

3. where do you WANT to live?  If you could live anywhere in the world. Here, right here with my family

4. do you have kids, want kids? I have Mike

5. what was the last book you read? And it was awesome!!!

6. when at a picnic do you eat hotdogs or hamburgers? Mostly hotdogs or brats

7. do you have a strong faith? Not as strong as I’d like but working on it. I do believe the Lord is taking care of me

8. can you touch your toes (without bending your knees)? I can now.

9. have your ever swam in the ocean? I walked in it, really both the Atlantic and Pacific

10. what is your favorite topping on pizza? Just cheese

11. did you enjoy being tagged and answering these questions? Yes, really I did!!! Thank you Deanna

11 QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO ANSWER:

1. How did you handle a friend departing your life?

2. Empty nest?

3. am or pm workouts?

4. Self employed, employed, full time, part time, retired?

5. College? Not?

6. Treadmill or outside?

7. Favorite candy?

8. Camping or hotels?

9. Do you make a lot of food from scratch?

10. Do you write hand write notes or just e-mails?

11. Blogging a hassle or fun or just something to do?

And the 11 I’m going to tag: (if you don’t want to do this it’s okay too)

1. Jillian

2. Deb

3. Margene

4. Jill

5. Nellie

6. Debbi

7. Kalie's best friend

8. Amanda

9. Kat

10. Michelle

11. Karen

So there you have it, I’ve been tagged and now so have you. Hey, also anyone that wants to do this just because, you can copy my questions to your blog and go ahead and put some answers in, do some questions and don’t forget to do the random thoughts. This really was fun, it did take time to do it but it was a perfect relaxing evening thing to do.

Take care my friends. Blessings!!

Montana…

That is where Mike’s headed for the next 7 days. A job away from home that pays great and gives him a chance to see (me too) what it’s like to be apart for that long. We’ve never really been apart more then a few days here and there and it usually was for scout camp or an overnight job. With him leaving in April for months at a time at least we can start small for a little bit.

His overalls are in terrible shape but there’s no extra money for new one so today I worked on repairing and patching as best as I could. I HATE MENDING!!! I would rather wear it with a hole in it or use a safety pin to pin it shut or on then mend it but his overalls are so bad I had to do something. Now as am mending the acid holes are getting better or worse but at least I got this one patched. And ran zig zags over the wholes in the other leg.

 

If there is anyone out there that has a pair of old bibs size 36 long and they are in better shape then these I’d sure be interested in getting them for Mike.

I’m feeling a bit off today. Sorta tired, sorta sore, sorta sick, sorta blah. I’m going to take the day off from exercise (I got in 5 days last week) and just rest and relax a bit. We went shopping and came home to some laundry, mending and now Mike and I are going to play Jenga.

I hope you are all have a great Sunday. A new week to work on becoming the health person we want to be. Take care and God Bless!!

Join me on my run tonight….

 

My two wonderful running/walking partners.     The full moon up a bit early to light my way.

Hi!                                                               A tad cloudy but not bad at all.

My friend says this looks spooky. The owl hooting made it a bit scary. The last of the sun.

Around the creek, moon behind me.

As I was walking pass my daddy’s house he was on the porch waiting for me. Whistling for me to stop in. I stopped for a visit and then headed home.

2.25 miles, warmed up, ran a bit, jogged most until it got dark and then just trotted home. It was 18* and no wind, a great evening for a night out. According to my new pedometer, which by the way I love, I burned 311 calories. That was the only exercise I did today but I got out and about and that was what is important.