Thursday, January 29, 2015

Today is my daddy’s birthday….and….

I know I should really spend the day with him but I did all day yesterday and Monday and I’m taking him and mama out for a steak birthday dinner tonight so I snuck home the back way and have 4 hours to myself. I am in the need of a bit of me time since things hardly ever go the way I plan them. I am not complaining, not one little bit however I am going to enjoy the me time so I can go out and enjoy my daddy’s birthday dinner.

The scale is moving in the right direction. I am now down 6 lbs. from the first of the year and have gotten over my sugar and bread cravings. It feels awesome. I am also doing something else, I am giving up that pretend sugar too. You know that stuff in sugar free gum and candy and it’s also in light foods. Heck if I don’t need the real stuff why substitute the pretend stuff. I am a gum chewer, it makes dieting easier for me but since I chomped my cheek 3 times 2 weeks ago and 2 times last week I have decided enough is enough. So it’s been 4 days no gum. It’s hard…I don’t really have any “bad” habits like the smoking, drinking, drugs however I have the bad habits of eating to much and chewing gum. So a work in progress.

Exercise isn’t right up there but that takes time that I have little of so just get in some extra steps, extra moving, dancing alone…I can’t really dance, and am going to hook up the Wii and see if I can get Jim interested to play a bit with me. It’s a thought anyways and worth a try. He isn’t into helping me with to much in life though he’s a good husband I am just very independent and he’s use to me not needing to much. After 35 years I’m not sure how to change that, needing him more or at least telling him I do. Another work in progress.

I got some of my Valentine decorations up, I am going to vacuum and mop the kitchen floor, do Mike’s laundry (he didn’t ask me, I’m just doing it cuz today I have more time than he does) and than I am going to go into my craft room and create something. Not sure what yet but something. Even if I just putz with my beads or work on my agate flowers or figure out where I want to put the crystal door knobs I am going to use for hanging stuff. By the way, if anyone has those old crystal door knobs they don’t want, have collected and not sure what to do with, I’ll take them off your hands. I’ll pay shipping too if you’d like. I so want to make a coat rack by my backdoor and I think they would be awesome for that and what better way to use from the past to make something useful in the present.

Take care my friends, thank you for staying around and reading. I went back to my daddy post just so I could smile a bit. It’s hard, that’s not going to change but to be able to smile amidst it all, well that’s the way it is.

Blessings to you all!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

You have to laugh……and no I don’t want worms…..

I want to share a little bit with you. Not the diet stuff or exercise stuff, just my life stuff.

You all know about daddy. You all know about mama. Well in the past two weeks, WOW!!!!

My mama has a car, a car she hates, won’t drive, but wants. It hasn’t been started most of the winter cuz….well she won’t drive. I do 99% of the driving them here and there and daddy tries once in awhile a short trip to town the back way where there isn’t people or other cars. Anyways, the car has been just sitting there, resting for the winter until just maybe when it’s 75*, sunny, no wind, no people, no cars, no holiday, no …. well nothing, my mama will take the car to town. Mama decided it needs to run and move. She tells daddy, daddy looks at her like a two headed monkey cuz he doesn’t even remember about the car or hates the car so much doesn’t want anything to do with it. So at 7:00 at night mama calls, “your father can’t get the hood up on the car” why I ask, “I want it started”, why I ask, “because I do”. UGH!!! I am almost home from a full day of driving bus, fixing their plumbing, cleaned up and changing her sewing room around so that she can work on a puzzle, fixing them dinner and …….. well a full day. I stop, daddy is out there freezing looking at the car asking me now what. So I try to start it, he did that earlier in the day…the try part…and left the key on so the battery is dead. So I try to open the hood, it’s frozen shut…it’s had 2’ of snow on it. Work at it and work at it and finally beat the crap out of it and it pops open. Okay let’s just use the booster pack, “what’s a booster pack daddy” says. and start it….can’t the battery’s way to dead, okay let’s jump it, like this, he asks and he jumps up and down a good 10 times while I just give him that two headed monkey look. No, like this and I do and show and try again. Damn that car it hates me too. Okay let’s just put a battery charger on it and let it trickle over night and I’ll come tomorrow and start it. “Battery charger?” It’s a good thing I work at both houses so I know where things are. Tromp up to the house, get the batter charger, extension cord and make the mistake of asking “what outlet works in the barn?” Outlets????? Okay got it, got daddy back in the house where he’s now past frozen turd and I go home…..

Ready for today? ……… really want to read more? ……

Today, got the car started….after threatening that I was going to take it to the junk yard where they can squish it. Darn car still hates me. Wait, you’ll see. Put everything way, the charger, the extension cord, the shovel, scrapper, …….. everything. And look at the gas gauge…empty…you have got to be kidding me. Dang it I wanted to just get it started and go home. Not happening today. Told daddy lets go for a ride. I check the car, lights, tires and all seems fine and off we go. We get 5 miles down the road and the car starts to sound funny, feel funny….tire? flat? No couldn’t be they just put almost new tires on it last summer. Guess what……yet a flat…not just any flat a blew out the tire it will never ever hold air again flat. Okay, I’m farm girl, I can change a tire in a blizzard if I have too. If daddy had left the jack in there. He needed it for ………… well he’s not sure what he needed it for and by the ways, where’d you put it…….Me? Me? I didn’t put it any where's. Call AAA. We’ll be there 30 minutes. Daddy is now a basket case, his easy day has sunk to the bottom and his fretting, antsy and upset. I say let’s let the dogs out and wait for the man to come. I get out, shut my door and hear a sound…. you know that SHIT sound? The one where the door gets locked behind you sound. Daddy has now locked my out of the car and hasn’t a clue how to let me in. The keys, in the ignition cuz I didn’t need them we were just going to wait outside the car. He can’t hear me, he can’t understand me….I’ll call his cell phone, he always has that on. Yep he does but can’t remember why it’s making that noise and he yells for me to pick it up. Me? Me? Oh God help me. Finally, after 20 minutes of trying to get him to settle down and listen, don’t fret I’m fine, find the lock, here’s the lock…follow my finger you’ll see the lock. When that door unlocked he jump out kicked the car, hit the car, swore at the car because it locked me out. How could it be so mean to his daughter. Okay, you can laugh, I did and did it a lot. Had to what other thing could a person do? The tow truck guy came, 45 minutes later….his jack didn’t work…had to call another tow truck guy with another jack. Mama calls, have to go to the clinic her meds are ready, don’t forget milk and bread. What…milk and bread and meds….

I have to go to work now. It’s almost past time but I had to share….just had to. There are tons of days like this, just different but the same. I have more to share if you’d like to listen. You have to laugh otherwise there is no other way to deal with dementia mom and Alzheimer dad.

Daddy says when I’m leaving, stop by on your way home, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you. REALLY!!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

A new week….Keep trying….

I started off so strong last week. I did great, I loss 3 lbs and than Thursday came, I was 50 hours into my work week already and still had 30 hours to go. And I lost all energy for exercising and cooking my planned menu. By time I got home last night after midnight I had gained back my three pounds and my neck and shoulder were toast. Between working there’s still the needs of my parents and grandma. Now I am not complaining at all, it’s my life and the Lord promises not to give us more than we can handle. So it’s just one day at a time.

This is a new week and tomorrow is a new day and I will again work my hardest to become a few pounds lighter, a bit stronger and most importantly a bit more relaxed with all that this life of mine has to offer. My neck and shoulders will be much more happy, my mind will be more restful and my body will feel so much better. And just maybe the nightmares will quit too. 1:30 every single night I have nightmares, why????

The plan. Stairs 3x this week, 3x each time. Planks, starting at the beginning so working my way up to 30 seconds this week. 4x this week. 1000-1200 calories a day, veggies, protein, little fruit. No breads, no sugar but natural sugar.

There are lots of plans and ideas and ways to do this but for me I’m sticking with simply, eat less and move more. I can work on a better plan later on.

Good luck this week to everyone working on getting healthy one way or another.

Blessings my friends!

Saturday, January 3, 2015


So the stairs. There are 25 of them. It’s a step climb too. I went up and down 2 full times yesterday. I know it’s not a lot but it is a start. Today will do it three times. I’m not fast at all yet but will work up to that after I get better at just climbing them.
My activity last night for boys basketball was good. Long, I left at 2 and got home just past midnight. Makes for a long day when I have things to do before the trip. But that’s okay, I slept in this morning and am taking a nap this afternoon.
May I ask you guys something, do any of you have a parent that has Alzheimer's? Or dementia? Does anyone have the other parent very angry because she/he doesn’t want to be a caregiver? I know about groups for talking to but a group is not in my realm of possibilities, I don’t do groups. Just thought I’d ask here and see.
I want to play in my craft room today so that means I had best get out to do the chores and the stairs. Jim wants me to go to town for lunch and I want to nap and ……… well we’ll see what gets done. Really sleeping is top. I can’t go back to work on Monday tired and looking like I didn’t have a good vacation.
I hope you have a great weekend. I was talking with Kyra, I don’t have a support group here so I so look forward to posting and hearing from you guys. I am terrible at commenting all the time so I don’t expect you too but I do want you to know that every single little word you write to me makes my day more possible. Thank you guys.
“I am here, in the now” how are you doing?

Friday, January 2, 2015

January 2nd, 2015…….

222.2 YUCK!!!!

It won’t stay there but still YUCK!!! Today no sugar. No more cookies, no more cold cereal, no more sugar. Now I’m talking about the sweet kind, not the kind in milk or fruits…not the natural kind however even that will be limited.

And I am going to start something I don’t want to. I am going to start climbing stairs along with my walking/hiking. I hate stairs, not a little bit…….a lot a bit. My parents have two flights of stairs going down to their lake. The stairs are an old fire escape from a two story school that got torn down. I don’t know how many steps but will find out tomorrow. Since there’s no snow it’s a good place to go and start working on strengthening my knees and hips. Walking is good, hiking is great, stairs suck but maybe they won’t suck after a few weeks.

What are your plans?

“I am here, in the now” how are you doing?

Blessings my friends.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

You guys are awesome….

I am so loving that some of us are reconnecting. It has been awesome to be contacted but a few of you and you are saying you are here for me. I left all of you in the lurch when I fell off the face of the earth but I am back and you guys are here. IT IS AWESOME!!!! Thank you guys, really truly. I am in the need and will except all the help, emails, comments and prayers.

Pam at emptynest did a quiz about finding your mantra and committing to it and yourself. I did the quiz and my mantra is “I am here”. I had to do some thinking about that. And what I came up with is “I am here, in the now”. No matter what I’m doing I will be doing the in the now. Breakfast with Mike, I will sit down and talk to him……..nothing else. At my parents, I will be in the now, just doing what they need, not thinking about what else I need to be doing else where’s. When I ask Jim how his day was, stop doing everything and listen. How about sex? Just thinking about the pleasure, given and received, not what’s next or …. The kids on the bus, I don’t have to hurry any where’s, I can sit at their stop for a couple minutes or pull over and listen when they need me too. For my friends, all of you, I will listen and enjoy the time you are giving me. “I am here, in the now” I promise!

Tomorrow will be day one. “I am here”, for me too. I can take care of me.

Blessings my friends.