Saturday, April 21, 2012

And he’s off….

And I’m not liking it at all, at least not yet I’m not. It’s hard, HARD!!! There’s not enough tissues in the box, or the box in the garage or the bathroom. My head hurts, my eyes hurt and my heart hurts. Yep, I know we’ll be fine…..but that’s not what you tell a person though, not when their little world is unraveling a bit. I know that one day I’ll enjoy the quiet and doing things alone …. but for now NOPE!!!

Yesterday I took the day off after my am bus route and spent it with Mike. We went shopping for one last pair of jeans, shirt and sweatshirt. We went and got bought $170.00 in groceries so I know that he’ll have food until he gets his living expense check the 9th of May. And then we went for a hike. My favorite pass time with Mike.

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Our walk started out with climbing this tailings pile. And yes it’s even steeper then it looks. I made it though and I could still breath.

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Spring is starting. It’s beginning to green up. A new beginning in more ways then one.

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I love following Mike where ever he leads me. This was a hard hike for me emotionally.

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My guy and his puppy. Oh boy are they going to miss each other too.

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I don’t remember the name of this pit lake but it’s always awesome being out there. I am going to have to be brave and keep going even without Mike. I love the hiking and the dogs love the free run and playing.

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Mike and his dad. Jim is always trying to be just that little bit taller then Mike. I know these next one is blurry but we were laughing.

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Oh guys, this is hard. So very hard. My heart is broken. It will mend, it will grow and it will be okay, one day at a time. Mike just text me, he’s almost to Willmar. 170 miles into his 1000 mile trip.

I’ll keep you posted and tell you when he arrives and how life is being a kidless mom after 20 years of being a mama. I love being a mama and know that I will be forever but not having to hold and touch…that will take getting use too.

I hope you all have an amazing and relaxing and wonderful weekend. Blessings my friends!

13 comments:

Jo said...

I have no words of comfort for you, as I have not walked in your shoes. But I know my heart would be hurting and I would be very sad. Just know I am thinking of you all and this is a huge milestone for Mike in that he is getting the education to do what he wants to do to in life. And that is a wonderful step, my dear. Hugs!

Kalei's Best Friend said...

You will be fine.. at least he is still in the u.s.! Mine went all the way to Italy.. I bawled like she was going off to war...Give it a week, and he will be calling to see how YOU are doing! lol... Its all in letting them grow up.. You will see and next year you will laugh..

Debsdailylife said...

((((HUGS)))) to you, my dear friend!! Every time I thot of you today, I said a prayer for strength and saftey!!

Michele said...

It is hard, Julie, to see him go. Letting our children go is hard. That is what you are doing and I know you know that. But it does not make it any easier. I am sending you a big hug!

Caron said...

It's definitely a hard place to be. Take care and stay busy. I know you are usually always busy. :)

Noelle said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Kim said...

Aww, go ahead a cry for awhile, hope you feel better!!

Betty WSch. said...

I know how you are feeling and all that really helps is time. For now feel my big cyber ((HUG))!! It doesn't seem like it, but it WILL get better. It WILL get easier. Thinking of you Julie!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Hugs to you, Julie. I will be here if you need to talk. You can call me or text me anytime. I know this is a difficult time. Just know that all mother's do go through a separation from their children at some point and that even though it is hard you will be so proud to see him spread his wings and fly on his own. I know you will miss him and he will miss you just as much. Just remember how much you love each other and that no distance between you can change that. You will always be his mother no matter where he is. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

Shannon said...

I haven't reached the point that you are at yet-my daughter is 18 and won't be moving out for awhile. I know that you have a heavy heart for now so here is a "hug" for you!!!

Shannon
http://www.everystepcounts365.wordpress.com

upinthecosmos said...

I can't even pretend to know what you are going through because I have never been, nor will I ever be, a mom. I just don't see that being a part of who I am and I'm ok with that. I do hope that you find your way without him soon though so that you can do for you now that you can. He will always need you, even while farther away and maybe even more at first. You'll find your way to deal with it as time goes on cause you are a strong woman:-)

Miss April said...

Ahhh.. you have so much to adjust to, but you're a strong and positive person.

Of One Heart said...

I'm glad you could put words to your feelings. Julie, this boy is already making you so proud! It's awesome!