But something isn’t right with me. Oh I don’t mean my usual mind, that’s always a half a bubble off. I am not feeling right. It’s even hard to explain but I am overly tired and I am getting 6-7 hours a sleep a night. I am ready to cry and it’s not cuz Mike is working away because he’s been home this week, it’s not about college because that’s still 9 weeks away. It’s not my TOM or at least it shouldn’t be until the end of next week. My body hurts but not terribly just enough it’s hard to keep moving, even my hair hurts today. I’m not sick, at least not like the flu or a cold or anything like that. I just don’t know. I don’t feel depressed though all these things sorta point that way but really I don’t think so. There’s light in my tunnel so it’s not deep and dark. I haven’t been on my computer more then an hour a day, long enough to get my mail, check up on a few of you and maybe write a short post but even my computer isn’t drawing me in like it usually does. Diet wise I’m not excelling but I’m not drowning either. Exercise is almost non-existent (except my running/walking, that I try and get in at least 5 times a week and so far so good) but it’s not cuz I don’t want too it’s more I can’t fit it in or maybe I’m not trying hard enough because I’m off. I just don’t know. I don’t think I’ve been “me” since Christmas time. I sure in the heck haven’t been very helpful to anyone, I sure in the heck aren’t very motivational, and I know that I’m a bore to read. I have thought about just quitting my blog and see where life heads but I know that when it comes to Mike leaving I am going to need you guys more then ever. I guess I’m just lost. I did think about going to the doctor and seeing if my thyroid isn’t in the right numbers yet (in November we re-adjusted the meds) or talking to him about the hormonal crap but I just got a bill from last November’s lab stuff and they want $250.00 and this has to be paid first so guess for now I’ll just hang in there and maybe all of it is just that winter blues and once spring rolls around things will level off and be better.
There is lots of good stuff too, like I am enjoying my time with Jim in the garage though I do get my feelings hurt because I have to go talk to him out there and he doesn’t want to come in and talk with me. I am loving the bus driving though it is a very stressful job, making sure 40 students get to and from school all safe and sound. I am loving having just Joss for my daycare though just one doesn’t come close to paying the bills, thank God for driving bus. I am loving, really loving, the fact Mike has been off this week and is here to talk to, touch, have help me and more. The sun is shinning and that’s always a huge plus. Here’s what I saw on my way home last night. It was snowing, sunny and a funny yellow color (in the picture you can’t see the yellow but it really was strange). My parents, sister, friends and family are all healthy and doing pretty good. I am worried about the driver I’m subbing for, he has cancer and they think they got it all on Tuesday but he’ll be gone for a while and he’s 72 years old and …. well I’m worried, but he’s so glad that he picked me as his sub and he’s trusting me with his kids.
I’m just off and weird and needed to chatter with you and need to take time to see what you’ve all been up too. Maybe tonight I’ll just come and sit and read some of what you’ve been up too.
Okay, I’m done. You don’t have to say anything, I know it’s me and I just need to find what’s up. I will because I hate not being the smiley, happy me, even though I’m not terrible I’m just not “me”.
Take care my friends and I’ll be back with the E2E challenge update this weekend. Have a blessed day!!
Oh I gotta share what Joss made for her mama today. She was gone on Monday and yesterday we played outside so today we made her mama Valentine’s flowers.