Time……none extra in my days…..

I keep wanting to do a post but unless it’s near midnight I don’t have the time but tonight I am going to take the time because I miss you guys. I am going to “steal” an idea from Angela from Keeping the Faith and use her format for an update. 

Minutes – July 26th, 2015 12:00 am

::thankful

• my summer job and a great boss that knows I need time for my parents and is willing to work with me and really I work with them too since they have ailing parents too.
• a understanding husband. He knows that just cuz I have a day off doesn’t mean I have a day off. He’s doing laundry most of the time, he lets me sleep in on days I can, he fixes dinner on Sunday nights, he laughs when I get that 10:00 call at night because either mama or daddy have misplaced something or they are worried about something.
• a wonderful son that wants to still be with his mama.
• parents that are trying their hardest to still be as independent as possible.

:: Prayerful

• for patience cuz at times they get pretty thin and it’s not any ones fault that life hard.
• friends that listen and care and offer help.
• for my grandma that always makes sure I know I’m appreciated.

:: Excited

• for school to start and a regular schedule again
• for the extra hours at work to keep up on the bills of two households

:: Health

• the loss of a few pounds and a DOT physical appointment

:: Fun

• Camping. Only once so far this summer but another one planned and maybe even two.

:: Delicious

• pork roast for the crockpot
• fresh fish
• cold salad
• 5 12 hour days at work, not sure yet

:: This week

• a 52 hour week between managing mini golf, driving special needs and the hospital courier plus a shopping trip and 5 hours of mowing lawn.

And pictures:

Blessings my dear friends!!!

About time you think?

Being the only caregiver to my parents has been time consuming and full of adjustments. It’s all manageable and doable however it leaves little time for much else other than our life too. School is over now, at least mine is but that means I’m driving for two other districts until next Wednesday and than I’m done till summer school. I have worked the past two weekends at my summer job, the mini golf, and am seeing that it’s going to be an awesome year there. I told Jim I don’t think I can handle a huge garden this year but this weekend will plant one anyways and just see what I can do and Mike is doing wonderfully which makes this mama one happy mama. 

So my poor blog gets put off all the time and I miss hearing from your guys so I’m taking a bit of time this morning to just share some pictures with you. 

Jim’s been working on the camper. It’s just to top heavy so he’s putting on a different axle that’s longer so hoping that the wider stance makes for more stability.

While Jim is working on that I’m getting the other outside chores did and done. Like taking off and sharpening the blades on the lawn mower. Goosey is always with me, he loves me you know. So he was there to tell me how to do it.

Before Goosey goes to bed at night he makes sure all the other chickens and Chuck is in. Than he gets a bath with the hose and goes to bed. He doesn’t like our pond and the little swimming pool we had finally died so the hose makes him happy.

My most favorite flower in the world. I have 3 large bushes of them and usually can’t bring them in the house because they bother Jim but for some reason this year this didn’t so for the full season of the lilacs I got to have a bouquet on my table.

I had an old music chair that was getting more unstable as the years went by so this was my spring time project. I love the way it turned out. See the little black stool in the background on the first picture? I got that at a garage sale but didn’t like that is was all white so I repainted that too and now it fits perfectly in the kitchen under the table instead of the music chair.

This frog use to be a bath tub toy holder for daycare but since we know daycare is over there are a few toys or items I kept. I turned it into a strawberry hanging planter. Today I was out there and it looking mighty fine. Cool to repurpose things.

I am always trying to find time to just do a small craft project here and there. I have a friend that loves to shoot, like me, so I made her this 9mm necklace. It’s hard to tell but it’s brushed nickle. She loved it.

The babies are growing. Wilbur checks on the every day to make sure they are okay. I am thinking next week it will be time to make them their new home in the chicken coop. Soon they’ll be out and about like the big ones but since mostly banti’s hoping that they will fly when the wildlife comes around instead of becoming lunch.

One morning on my way to work I got to see the full moon and the sun rising at the same time. It really was pretty so had to try and take a picture of it.

And last but not least. This is Mike with his friends Remington and Winchester (yep, gun nuts too and not just by name). They came to visit me at mini golf. They have been friends since tiger cubs, over 16 years ago. Today they are out fishing on Rabbit lake. Last week they went too and brought home enough fish for a tiny fish fry. Hoping for more this weekend.

So for now that’s that. There’s more but a person only has so much time to spend on another’s blog so I’ll leave you for now. I am hoping to be back more often but we’ll just see what life brings. I hope you all are having an awesome weekend. I am on my way over to my parents shortly and than going to lunch with Jim. I have a truck load of wood to unload and a to garden till and plant. Tomorrow I work the golf but not till 2 so have time to go shopping for next weeks groceries. Life goes on and I am blessed more than I really deserve. 

Have a blessed day!

Firsts….

This week I turn 53 and in all my years, God that sounds old…. I am having or doing a lot of firsts. It’s cool really, mostly.

Some of the not cool firsts are giving money to my parents instead of the other way around. Taking over the finances for them. Being the parent to the parent. Explaining everything from how to fix a hose to how to put a key in the lock to forever looking for keys and explaining why we need to put them on a hook. To passwords and emails to the darn TV remote. To just smiling and even though hard, smiling and enjoying that they are alive and still able to give hugs and love.

Some of the awesome first…..it’s our 35th anniversary and we are going away for the weekend and …. the first…staying in a motel. Excited, very excited.

Other’s…

.

Taking myself out for breakfast and not eating in the bus, eating in the restaurant. A bit scary but doable. This is my little bus I drive between my big bus runs. I do preschool and special needs for a different district. Oh another first, I have a very disabled girl in a wheel chair that is awesome and sweet and last week she gave me the biggest hug and kiss.

Wearing shorts the 2nd week in April. It was 70* last Thursday. Beautiful!!! Today it’s 25* and snowing. UGH!!!

Going to the Target Center and walking the 8 blocks after parking the bus and going to watch the girls dance. I was so scared (I had my first panic attack and cried and shook and had to call Mike, he walked back to the bus with me via the phone and helped me settle down)  it took me two tries to get there alone but I did it and once I did, I was back and forth between the bus and center at least 6 times. I couldn’t lock the bus so made sure all was okay during intermissions.

Tilling the garden the first time in April (we try and till it 2-3 times before planting)  and it was thawed and even somewhat warmish dirt. No worms yet though so not that warm.

Getting the chicken coop cleaned out, it’s not frozen solid.

Getting the pump for the watering hooked up and started because it’s dry as a bone here and we have a pond we pump from for both my parents place and ours and with a back up generator we know we can save our homes if need be.

Taking just my parents to the Como Conservatory.

Enjoying me. I have gotten to the point where I enjoy going for walks alone, window shopping alone, being home alone. I still prefer being with Mike or Jim or friends but I am liking the me part too.

There are more firsts but I don’t want to bore you to death.

Life is good. No matter what’s going on it’s good. And when it’s not, a good cry and a Almond Joy fixes it so it is good again. Everything is possible. No one said easy or perfect but it is good and possible.

Blessings my friends.

But it’s so hard to except it at times….

 

    People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  Embrace all equally!

I miss my best friend of over 25 years but life changes and people move on for whatever reason, even when they only live 2 miles away. Just have to remember to let the Lord handle it and keep her safe.

Hope you all have an amazing weekend. My will be busy with home and family.

Blessings!!

While there’s time…..

Good morning to all my friends. It’s hump day, yeah!!! My school has spring break next week. That means we will have 10 days off including the weekends. Another YEAH!!! So many things that need to be done and just maybe I can get some of the done. Between two households and spring I am finding there’s lots.

So with that I have decided that it’s time to take time for me. It’s only little steps and small bits of time but it’s something.

I have gone back to tracking my food and instead of the 10,000 steps that we are suppose to get I’m getting in 5000 or more. Heck I’ve done this before I know the rules to really get into a healthy lifestyle but for me, small bits.

I started on Saturday the 21st. Reasonable/healthy eating over the weekend and really got into it on Monday. I fasted on Monday, yesterday fasted 3/4 of the day and had a healthy dinner, today I fixed myself 3oz steak chunk and 2 farm fresh scrambled eggs with cheese and sweet peppers and am thinking will fast the rest of the day. The reasoning I have for the fasting is I am such an over eater that I need to shrink my stomach a bit so a real size portion will be filling. Will it work, I’m hoping and so far the scale is in agreement.

At the same time of taking care of the physical me, I’m working on the Christian me. Devotion reading in the morning and working on quiet time. Meditation doesn’t work for me…at least not yet but quiet time I can do. I head to work in the afternoon 15 minutes early so that I can just sit and be for a little bit.

All of this is just bits but it’s bits I haven’t taken for me in quite some time and I need them.

I am spending lots of time helping my parents but it seems we have come to a routine that is working, for now. Daddy has made another step in his Alzheimer's and though it’s not good we know worse is coming so learning to deal and do as we go. Mama’s memory from her stoke has returned some, I don’t think it’ll ever be what it was. But we are working with this too. So far they can do 80% of their physical life stuff and 20% of the mental part but that’s 100% they are trying. And I am learning to run two households and both Jim and Mike have been amazing about the time I can’t be here. It’s working.

I want you all to know how much I appreciate you and your awesome comments and emails. Some days it’s just the perfect support I need to make it through it all.  THANK YOU!!!

Sad and frustrated……But…….

Mama had a stroke. Daddy is getting into the crabby stage. Bills are pilling up here and there but there’s just not enough money for both households. My sewer is backed up in my basement, septic is frozen. I can’t even pee in my own toilet. Got a new GPS, I hate it, like my old one…I could understand that one. Cleaned my car out to sell it, the sales man was such a yuck and a liar I walked away from him. Still need something a bit bigger because my Envoy is too small for daddy to get in and out of without hurting. It’s damp and chilly after the Lord blessed us with 2 days of 70 and sunshine. The dishwasher has partly washed dishes in it. The sinks and toilet have signs on the “NO!!!”. My living room rug needs shampooing, the house needs cleaning, the sheets need washing. I could be a crab, I could be crying, I could be depressed

BUT…….

Life could be so much worse. I just read the news and what I have going on here is a piece of cake compared to the life others have. Someone shoot someone, a hurricane destroying a village and hospital, someone has advance cancer, someone just lost someone. The list is longer than mine and even though I cry myself to sleep a couple times a month, even though I know I need new shoes and daddy needs a new light weight jacket and the septic needs attention and ……. well it could be worse. I have shoes, I found an older jacket in my closet that will fit daddy, the septic will thaw in …well a couple of months and there is a toilet in the garage and the shower is plumbed outside so that means dishes and undies can be taken care of and bodies as well. There’s plenty of groceries in both houses to feed us and there’s gas in my car to take us to the doctors and specialists and even to the DQ for the free ice-cream cones Monday. Life is good. I have to remember that and not bother complaining because it really could be worse. My hands are full but the Lord must think I can handle more so I do.

I have a friend that lost her daddy last week, I didn’t make it to the funeral because was needed else where’s but we are going to meet and have dinner out. I sold eggs today, my chickens are finally laying again. We can eat out and enjoy the company and express the sadness we feel for losing her daddy. I have my daddy, at least parts of him and even though he’s getting crabby easier I’m sure it’s the frustration trying to tell us what’s what and do his job of taking care of us. He hates having me zip him up, find his things, drive him everywhere, plan the meals, set up the meds, turn the TV on and off or set it up so he can watch a movie. These are his things to be doing and now here I am doing them and I am sure not the right way or the way he was doing them.

Mama’s stroke took part of her memory. She’s physically able but mental slower but am hoping it can improve with time. It’s frustrating for her too  because she’s there all the time trying to help daddy and trying to let me have a bit of time for my family but still knowing she can’t remember how to wash the clothes or thread her sewing machine or the cats names. And the bills, WOW…it use to be daddy’s job, than hers but now mine and just plain WOW!!!! With nothing to fall back on it’s hard to make everyone happy with what little there is but everyone gets something so hopefully no nastigrams.

I know that in the future life won’t be like this because they won’t be here but you know what, I will take this life over what’s next because I can hug and bug and love and hate and everything a family does to make it all happen.

So my Mantra is “I’m here, in the now” and will just do the best with what I can and the Lord will just have to take care of the rest.

I hope this finds you all well, not having any extra things going on in your life but if there is, trust in the Lord….if he brings you to it, he’ll take you through it. Every day I rely on him. I do my best.

Blessings my friends!!!!

March 2nd, 1992….

Today is Mike’s birthday. My one and only, the sun in my shine. My pride and joy. I love this young man so much. Happy birthday Michael.

  

Happy birthday Mike. I hope you have an awesome day, week, year! You deserve only the best. I love you!

Can I have a wordless Thursday instead?

This morning at 7:30.

Life….

You know, I’ve started this post a dozen times but I just don’t know what to tell you. I am positive you don’t want to hear about the hardships that comes with aging parents because some of you have it worse. I am sure you don’t want to hear about Mike and how awesome he is because you’ve heard it before. I am positive you don’t want to hear I can’t lose weight because …. well I’m not doing it right. I am sure you don’t want to hear about bus driving, coal shoveling, Minnesota weather, my dog illness.

But you see, I don’t write just for you…I write for me too so I’m going to write and if you want to you can read or comment, or you can delete or ignore or whatever tickles you pick. Because, even though I love hearing from you and knowing others are out there, I need to look back some day in life and remember.

My daddy is awesome. Every single day he tries his best to take care of mama and I. My mama, she works hard every single day to try and understand daddy and to keep him safe. As for me, I work hard trying to keep them both happy, taken care of and ahead. There are not enough hours in the day to take care of them, my family and myself and of course my grandma, friends and working. But I do the best I can and let the Lord take care of what I can’t. Or at least watch over it while I’m working on or with something else.

Mike is working and enjoying it and making a living. He bought himself a new to him 2007 pick up. He and I spent the afternoon together visiting some friends  and doing a little bit of shopping. He still not a good cook or even good at planning meals but with a little help here and there he’s learning.

My elderly gentleman that I take care of, George, wanted to bake bread the other day. He used to make 5 loaves of bread a week and has been talking about it for a couple of weeks. So one day we made bread. Of course it was a cold Minnesota day so by time it was time for me to leave to drive bus it wasn’t ready to bake but his nephew baked it later and they said it was awesome. So once George is settled in his new home we’ll make some more.

 Minnesota weather. It really has been a very different winter here. We’ve had the most mild winter I remember. Except for when it’s cold, than it’s very cold like today and tomorrow. 15-30 below. And last week we got about 6” of snow. Now nothing compared to our friends to the east though.

 Yesterday I took a fan bus to the Target Center. Both my towns, Aitkin and Crosby-Ironton schools, have an amazing dance teams and both teams made it to state finals.

 I told Mike that he couldn’t afford to buy me flowers this year. He has always, for as long as he’s been working, sent me flowers for Valentine’s. Last year he sent me the big teddy and a small bouquet of roses. This year he sent me the little teddy with Michael on it and a card that says …. you said you didn’t want flowers. I love my son!!!!

So for now, that is my life. Well really there’s lots more but even if I ever get a chance to re-read my post there is only so much time. If you’ve stayed long enough to read this, you are really awesome. If you skipped it to the end, well that’s okay too cuz you stayed a bit anyways. If you clicked delete, that’s okay too.

I hope you all had an awesome Valentine’s day. I got to spend it with Mike, friends, my parents, my grandma and her sister and a quiet evening with Jim. It was a wonderful day here.

Take care and have a blessed Sunday. Remember, even when life really stinks there are more things to be thankful for than you can count. I’m learning this.

Today is my daddy’s birthday….and….

I know I should really spend the day with him but I did all day yesterday and Monday and I’m taking him and mama out for a steak birthday dinner tonight so I snuck home the back way and have 4 hours to myself. I am in the need of a bit of me time since things hardly ever go the way I plan them. I am not complaining, not one little bit however I am going to enjoy the me time so I can go out and enjoy my daddy’s birthday dinner.

The scale is moving in the right direction. I am now down 6 lbs. from the first of the year and have gotten over my sugar and bread cravings. It feels awesome. I am also doing something else, I am giving up that pretend sugar too. You know that stuff in sugar free gum and candy and it’s also in light foods. Heck if I don’t need the real stuff why substitute the pretend stuff. I am a gum chewer, it makes dieting easier for me but since I chomped my cheek 3 times 2 weeks ago and 2 times last week I have decided enough is enough. So it’s been 4 days no gum. It’s hard…I don’t really have any “bad” habits like the smoking, drinking, drugs however I have the bad habits of eating to much and chewing gum. So a work in progress.

Exercise isn’t right up there but that takes time that I have little of so just get in some extra steps, extra moving, dancing alone…I can’t really dance, and am going to hook up the Wii and see if I can get Jim interested to play a bit with me. It’s a thought anyways and worth a try. He isn’t into helping me with to much in life though he’s a good husband I am just very independent and he’s use to me not needing to much. After 35 years I’m not sure how to change that, needing him more or at least telling him I do. Another work in progress.

I got some of my Valentine decorations up, I am going to vacuum and mop the kitchen floor, do Mike’s laundry (he didn’t ask me, I’m just doing it cuz today I have more time than he does) and than I am going to go into my craft room and create something. Not sure what yet but something. Even if I just putz with my beads or work on my agate flowers or figure out where I want to put the crystal door knobs I am going to use for hanging stuff. By the way, if anyone has those old crystal door knobs they don’t want, have collected and not sure what to do with, I’ll take them off your hands. I’ll pay shipping too if you’d like. I so want to make a coat rack by my backdoor and I think they would be awesome for that and what better way to use from the past to make something useful in the present.

Take care my friends, thank you for staying around and reading. I went back to my daddy post just so I could smile a bit. It’s hard, that’s not going to change but to be able to smile amidst it all, well that’s the way it is.

Blessings to you all!

You have to laugh……and no I don’t want worms…..

I want to share a little bit with you. Not the diet stuff or exercise stuff, just my life stuff.

You all know about daddy. You all know about mama. Well in the past two weeks, WOW!!!!

My mama has a car, a car she hates, won’t drive, but wants. It hasn’t been started most of the winter cuz….well she won’t drive. I do 99% of the driving them here and there and daddy tries once in awhile a short trip to town the back way where there isn’t people or other cars. Anyways, the car has been just sitting there, resting for the winter until just maybe when it’s 75*, sunny, no wind, no people, no cars, no holiday, no …. well nothing, my mama will take the car to town. Mama decided it needs to run and move. She tells daddy, daddy looks at her like a two headed monkey cuz he doesn’t even remember about the car or hates the car so much doesn’t want anything to do with it. So at 7:00 at night mama calls, “your father can’t get the hood up on the car” why I ask, “I want it started”, why I ask, “because I do”. UGH!!! I am almost home from a full day of driving bus, fixing their plumbing, cleaned up and changing her sewing room around so that she can work on a puzzle, fixing them dinner and …….. well a full day. I stop, daddy is out there freezing looking at the car asking me now what. So I try to start it, he did that earlier in the day…the try part…and left the key on so the battery is dead. So I try to open the hood, it’s frozen shut…it’s had 2’ of snow on it. Work at it and work at it and finally beat the crap out of it and it pops open. Okay let’s just use the booster pack, “what’s a booster pack daddy” says. and start it….can’t the battery’s way to dead, okay let’s jump it, like this, he asks and he jumps up and down a good 10 times while I just give him that two headed monkey look. No, like this and I do and show and try again. Damn that car it hates me too. Okay let’s just put a battery charger on it and let it trickle over night and I’ll come tomorrow and start it. “Battery charger?” It’s a good thing I work at both houses so I know where things are. Tromp up to the house, get the batter charger, extension cord and make the mistake of asking “what outlet works in the barn?” Outlets????? Okay got it, got daddy back in the house where he’s now past frozen turd and I go home…..

Ready for today? ……… really want to read more? ……

Today, got the car started….after threatening that I was going to take it to the junk yard where they can squish it. Darn car still hates me. Wait, you’ll see. Put everything way, the charger, the extension cord, the shovel, scrapper, …….. everything. And look at the gas gauge…empty…you have got to be kidding me. Dang it I wanted to just get it started and go home. Not happening today. Told daddy lets go for a ride. I check the car, lights, tires and all seems fine and off we go. We get 5 miles down the road and the car starts to sound funny, feel funny….tire? flat? No couldn’t be they just put almost new tires on it last summer. Guess what……yet a flat…not just any flat a blew out the tire it will never ever hold air again flat. Okay, I’m farm girl, I can change a tire in a blizzard if I have too. If daddy had left the jack in there. He needed it for ………… well he’s not sure what he needed it for and by the ways, where’d you put it…….Me? Me? I didn’t put it any where's. Call AAA. We’ll be there 30 minutes. Daddy is now a basket case, his easy day has sunk to the bottom and his fretting, antsy and upset. I say let’s let the dogs out and wait for the man to come. I get out, shut my door and hear a sound…. you know that SHIT sound? The one where the door gets locked behind you sound. Daddy has now locked my out of the car and hasn’t a clue how to let me in. The keys, in the ignition cuz I didn’t need them we were just going to wait outside the car. He can’t hear me, he can’t understand me….I’ll call his cell phone, he always has that on. Yep he does but can’t remember why it’s making that noise and he yells for me to pick it up. Me? Me? Oh God help me. Finally, after 20 minutes of trying to get him to settle down and listen, don’t fret I’m fine, find the lock, here’s the lock…follow my finger you’ll see the lock. When that door unlocked he jump out kicked the car, hit the car, swore at the car because it locked me out. How could it be so mean to his daughter. Okay, you can laugh, I did and did it a lot. Had to what other thing could a person do? The tow truck guy came, 45 minutes later….his jack didn’t work…had to call another tow truck guy with another jack. Mama calls, have to go to the clinic her meds are ready, don’t forget milk and bread. What…milk and bread and meds….

I have to go to work now. It’s almost past time but I had to share….just had to. There are tons of days like this, just different but the same. I have more to share if you’d like to listen. You have to laugh otherwise there is no other way to deal with dementia mom and Alzheimer dad.

Daddy says when I’m leaving, stop by on your way home, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you. REALLY!!!!

A new week….Keep trying….

I started off so strong last week. I did great, I loss 3 lbs and than Thursday came, I was 50 hours into my work week already and still had 30 hours to go. And I lost all energy for exercising and cooking my planned menu. By time I got home last night after midnight I had gained back my three pounds and my neck and shoulder were toast. Between working there’s still the needs of my parents and grandma. Now I am not complaining at all, it’s my life and the Lord promises not to give us more than we can handle. So it’s just one day at a time.

This is a new week and tomorrow is a new day and I will again work my hardest to become a few pounds lighter, a bit stronger and most importantly a bit more relaxed with all that this life of mine has to offer. My neck and shoulders will be much more happy, my mind will be more restful and my body will feel so much better. And just maybe the nightmares will quit too. 1:30 every single night I have nightmares, why????

The plan. Stairs 3x this week, 3x each time. Planks, starting at the beginning so working my way up to 30 seconds this week. 4x this week. 1000-1200 calories a day, veggies, protein, little fruit. No breads, no sugar but natural sugar.

There are lots of plans and ideas and ways to do this but for me I’m sticking with simply, eat less and move more. I can work on a better plan later on.

Good luck this week to everyone working on getting healthy one way or another.

Blessings my friends!

Wordless Wednesday…..almost to late….

Stairs…..and…..

So the stairs. There are 25 of them. It’s a step climb too. I went up and down 2 full times yesterday. I know it’s not a lot but it is a start. Today will do it three times. I’m not fast at all yet but will work up to that after I get better at just climbing them.
My activity last night for boys basketball was good. Long, I left at 2 and got home just past midnight. Makes for a long day when I have things to do before the trip. But that’s okay, I slept in this morning and am taking a nap this afternoon.
May I ask you guys something, do any of you have a parent that has Alzheimer's? Or dementia? Does anyone have the other parent very angry because she/he doesn’t want to be a caregiver? I know about groups for talking to but a group is not in my realm of possibilities, I don’t do groups. Just thought I’d ask here and see.
I want to play in my craft room today so that means I had best get out to do the chores and the stairs. Jim wants me to go to town for lunch and I want to nap and ……… well we’ll see what gets done. Really sleeping is top. I can’t go back to work on Monday tired and looking like I didn’t have a good vacation.
I hope you have a great weekend. I was talking with Kyra, I don’t have a support group here so I so look forward to posting and hearing from you guys. I am terrible at commenting all the time so I don’t expect you too but I do want you to know that every single little word you write to me makes my day more possible. Thank you guys.
“I am here, in the now” how are you doing?

January 2nd, 2015…….

222.2 YUCK!!!!

It won’t stay there but still YUCK!!! Today no sugar. No more cookies, no more cold cereal, no more sugar. Now I’m talking about the sweet kind, not the kind in milk or fruits…not the natural kind however even that will be limited.

And I am going to start something I don’t want to. I am going to start climbing stairs along with my walking/hiking. I hate stairs, not a little bit…….a lot a bit. My parents have two flights of stairs going down to their lake. The stairs are an old fire escape from a two story school that got torn down. I don’t know how many steps but will find out tomorrow. Since there’s no snow it’s a good place to go and start working on strengthening my knees and hips. Walking is good, hiking is great, stairs suck but maybe they won’t suck after a few weeks.

What are your plans?

“I am here, in the now” how are you doing?

Blessings my friends.

You guys are awesome….

I am so loving that some of us are reconnecting. It has been awesome to be contacted but a few of you and you are saying you are here for me. I left all of you in the lurch when I fell off the face of the earth but I am back and you guys are here. IT IS AWESOME!!!! Thank you guys, really truly. I am in the need and will except all the help, emails, comments and prayers.

Pam at emptynest did a quiz about finding your mantra and committing to it and yourself. I did the quiz and my mantra is “I am here”. I had to do some thinking about that. And what I came up with is “I am here, in the now”. No matter what I’m doing I will be doing the in the now. Breakfast with Mike, I will sit down and talk to him……..nothing else. At my parents, I will be in the now, just doing what they need, not thinking about what else I need to be doing else where’s. When I ask Jim how his day was, stop doing everything and listen. How about sex? Just thinking about the pleasure, given and received, not what’s next or …. The kids on the bus, I don’t have to hurry any where’s, I can sit at their stop for a couple minutes or pull over and listen when they need me too. For my friends, all of you, I will listen and enjoy the time you are giving me. “I am here, in the now” I promise!

Tomorrow will be day one. “I am here”, for me too. I can take care of me.

Blessings my friends.