Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Sad and frustrated……But…….

Mama had a stroke. Daddy is getting into the crabby stage. Bills are pilling up here and there but there’s just not enough money for both households. My sewer is backed up in my basement, septic is frozen. I can’t even pee in my own toilet. Got a new GPS, I hate it, like my old one…I could understand that one. Cleaned my car out to sell it, the sales man was such a yuck and a liar I walked away from him. Still need something a bit bigger because my Envoy is too small for daddy to get in and out of without hurting. It’s damp and chilly after the Lord blessed us with 2 days of 70 and sunshine. The dishwasher has partly washed dishes in it. The sinks and toilet have signs on the “NO!!!”. My living room rug needs shampooing, the house needs cleaning, the sheets need washing. I could be a crab, I could be crying, I could be depressed


Life could be so much worse. I just read the news and what I have going on here is a piece of cake compared to the life others have. Someone shoot someone, a hurricane destroying a village and hospital, someone has advance cancer, someone just lost someone. The list is longer than mine and even though I cry myself to sleep a couple times a month, even though I know I need new shoes and daddy needs a new light weight jacket and the septic needs attention and ……. well it could be worse. I have shoes, I found an older jacket in my closet that will fit daddy, the septic will thaw in …well a couple of months and there is a toilet in the garage and the shower is plumbed outside so that means dishes and undies can be taken care of and bodies as well. There’s plenty of groceries in both houses to feed us and there’s gas in my car to take us to the doctors and specialists and even to the DQ for the free ice-cream cones Monday. Life is good. I have to remember that and not bother complaining because it really could be worse. My hands are full but the Lord must think I can handle more so I do.

I have a friend that lost her daddy last week, I didn’t make it to the funeral because was needed else where’s but we are going to meet and have dinner out. I sold eggs today, my chickens are finally laying again. We can eat out and enjoy the company and express the sadness we feel for losing her daddy. I have my daddy, at least parts of him and even though he’s getting crabby easier I’m sure it’s the frustration trying to tell us what’s what and do his job of taking care of us. He hates having me zip him up, find his things, drive him everywhere, plan the meals, set up the meds, turn the TV on and off or set it up so he can watch a movie. These are his things to be doing and now here I am doing them and I am sure not the right way or the way he was doing them.

Mama’s stroke took part of her memory. She’s physically able but mental slower but am hoping it can improve with time. It’s frustrating for her too  because she’s there all the time trying to help daddy and trying to let me have a bit of time for my family but still knowing she can’t remember how to wash the clothes or thread her sewing machine or the cats names. And the bills, WOW…it use to be daddy’s job, than hers but now mine and just plain WOW!!!! With nothing to fall back on it’s hard to make everyone happy with what little there is but everyone gets something so hopefully no nastigrams.

I know that in the future life won’t be like this because they won’t be here but you know what, I will take this life over what’s next because I can hug and bug and love and hate and everything a family does to make it all happen.

So my Mantra is “I’m here, in the now” and will just do the best with what I can and the Lord will just have to take care of the rest.

I hope this finds you all well, not having any extra things going on in your life but if there is, trust in the Lord….if he brings you to it, he’ll take you through it. Every day I rely on him. I do my best.

Blessings my friends!!!!


Sarah G said...

Oh Julie life sure has handed you some lemons lately. I am so proud of your positive attitude and outlook. (((Hugs))) to you all.

Lowcarb team member said...

Goodness Julie life sure is not easy for you at the moment, but please know all who read and follow you here send their blessings, positive thoughts and prayers.

It does seem at times that the whole world is in helter-skelter mode going down, down, round and round and not too sure (yet) where it will stop.

I'm sure if we help each other, listen and share things, it could well improve.

At this moment I send my best thoughts to you.

Keep positive as you are doing.

All the best Jan

Running Stitches said...

Julie, I'm so sorry life isn't easy for you at the moment. You and your parents are in my thoughts.

Kyra said...

All of that is HUGE! I'm sorry all that is going on! *hugs*!

Marc C said...

That is a lot of responsibility! You are an amazing woman! My wife's home on the farm with her first husband had a septic system freeze up one winter. That was many years ago, when she had 5 children at home and no flushing toilet because of the freeze. I think she told me they did the porta potty 5 months that winter. UGH!

Baby Sister said...

Oh Julie I'm so sorry. I really hope things settle down for you soon.

Gwen said...

Julie, I am SO sorry that you are going through all of this. :( Please try to find pockets of time to nurture yourself.

Empty Nester said...

There is no way that I would be able to keep such a positive outlook. My life is no where near where you are at this point but that doesn't stop me from feeling sorry for myself. Sheesh. I'm still keeping everyone up there in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim said...

Oh my goodness girly!! I am sorry you have to go through all of that :( you do have a very positive outlook on the things thrown your way, that's what makes you such a beautiful person. I am here if you ever need someone to talk to or someone just to listen. I will be praying for you and your family.