People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!
I miss my best friend of over 25 years but life changes and people move on for whatever reason, even when they only live 2 miles away. Just have to remember to let the Lord handle it and keep her safe.
Hope you all have an amazing weekend. My will be busy with home and family.
Blessings!!
Good morning to all my friends. It’s hump day, yeah!!! My school has spring break next week. That means we will have 10 days off including the weekends. Another YEAH!!! So many things that need to be done and just maybe I can get some of the done. Between two households and spring I am finding there’s lots.
So with that I have decided that it’s time to take time for me. It’s only little steps and small bits of time but it’s something.
I have gone back to tracking my food and instead of the 10,000 steps that we are suppose to get I’m getting in 5000 or more. Heck I’ve done this before I know the rules to really get into a healthy lifestyle but for me, small bits.
I started on Saturday the 21st. Reasonable/healthy eating over the weekend and really got into it on Monday. I fasted on Monday, yesterday fasted 3/4 of the day and had a healthy dinner, today I fixed myself 3oz steak chunk and 2 farm fresh scrambled eggs with cheese and sweet peppers and am thinking will fast the rest of the day. The reasoning I have for the fasting is I am such an over eater that I need to shrink my stomach a bit so a real size portion will be filling. Will it work, I’m hoping and so far the scale is in agreement.
At the same time of taking care of the physical me, I’m working on the Christian me. Devotion reading in the morning and working on quiet time. Meditation doesn’t work for me…at least not yet but quiet time I can do. I head to work in the afternoon 15 minutes early so that I can just sit and be for a little bit.
All of this is just bits but it’s bits I haven’t taken for me in quite some time and I need them.
I am spending lots of time helping my parents but it seems we have come to a routine that is working, for now. Daddy has made another step in his Alzheimer's and though it’s not good we know worse is coming so learning to deal and do as we go. Mama’s memory from her stoke has returned some, I don’t think it’ll ever be what it was. But we are working with this too. So far they can do 80% of their physical life stuff and 20% of the mental part but that’s 100% they are trying. And I am learning to run two households and both Jim and Mike have been amazing about the time I can’t be here. It’s working.
I want you all to know how much I appreciate you and your awesome comments and emails. Some days it’s just the perfect support I need to make it through it all. THANK YOU!!!
Mama had a stroke. Daddy is getting into the crabby stage. Bills are pilling up here and there but there’s just not enough money for both households. My sewer is backed up in my basement, septic is frozen. I can’t even pee in my own toilet. Got a new GPS, I hate it, like my old one…I could understand that one. Cleaned my car out to sell it, the sales man was such a yuck and a liar I walked away from him. Still need something a bit bigger because my Envoy is too small for daddy to get in and out of without hurting. It’s damp and chilly after the Lord blessed us with 2 days of 70 and sunshine. The dishwasher has partly washed dishes in it. The sinks and toilet have signs on the “NO!!!”. My living room rug needs shampooing, the house needs cleaning, the sheets need washing. I could be a crab, I could be crying, I could be depressed
BUT…….
Life could be so much worse. I just read the news and what I have going on here is a piece of cake compared to the life others have. Someone shoot someone, a hurricane destroying a village and hospital, someone has advance cancer, someone just lost someone. The list is longer than mine and even though I cry myself to sleep a couple times a month, even though I know I need new shoes and daddy needs a new light weight jacket and the septic needs attention and ……. well it could be worse. I have shoes, I found an older jacket in my closet that will fit daddy, the septic will thaw in …well a couple of months and there is a toilet in the garage and the shower is plumbed outside so that means dishes and undies can be taken care of and bodies as well. There’s plenty of groceries in both houses to feed us and there’s gas in my car to take us to the doctors and specialists and even to the DQ for the free ice-cream cones Monday. Life is good. I have to remember that and not bother complaining because it really could be worse. My hands are full but the Lord must think I can handle more so I do.
I have a friend that lost her daddy last week, I didn’t make it to the funeral because was needed else where’s but we are going to meet and have dinner out. I sold eggs today, my chickens are finally laying again. We can eat out and enjoy the company and express the sadness we feel for losing her daddy. I have my daddy, at least parts of him and even though he’s getting crabby easier I’m sure it’s the frustration trying to tell us what’s what and do his job of taking care of us. He hates having me zip him up, find his things, drive him everywhere, plan the meals, set up the meds, turn the TV on and off or set it up so he can watch a movie. These are his things to be doing and now here I am doing them and I am sure not the right way or the way he was doing them.
Mama’s stroke took part of her memory. She’s physically able but mental slower but am hoping it can improve with time. It’s frustrating for her too because she’s there all the time trying to help daddy and trying to let me have a bit of time for my family but still knowing she can’t remember how to wash the clothes or thread her sewing machine or the cats names. And the bills, WOW…it use to be daddy’s job, than hers but now mine and just plain WOW!!!! With nothing to fall back on it’s hard to make everyone happy with what little there is but everyone gets something so hopefully no nastigrams.
I know that in the future life won’t be like this because they won’t be here but you know what, I will take this life over what’s next because I can hug and bug and love and hate and everything a family does to make it all happen.
So my Mantra is “I’m here, in the now” and will just do the best with what I can and the Lord will just have to take care of the rest.
I hope this finds you all well, not having any extra things going on in your life but if there is, trust in the Lord….if he brings you to it, he’ll take you through it. Every day I rely on him. I do my best.
Blessings my friends!!!!
Today is Mike’s birthday. My one and only, the sun in my shine. My pride and joy. I love this young man so much. Happy birthday Michael.
Happy birthday Mike. I hope you have an awesome day, week, year! You deserve only the best. I love you!
You know, I’ve started this post a dozen times but I just don’t know what to tell you. I am positive you don’t want to hear about the hardships that comes with aging parents because some of you have it worse. I am sure you don’t want to hear about Mike and how awesome he is because you’ve heard it before. I am positive you don’t want to hear I can’t lose weight because …. well I’m not doing it right. I am sure you don’t want to hear about bus driving, coal shoveling, Minnesota weather, my dog illness.
But you see, I don’t write just for you…I write for me too so I’m going to write and if you want to you can read or comment, or you can delete or ignore or whatever tickles you pick. Because, even though I love hearing from you and knowing others are out there, I need to look back some day in life and remember.
My daddy is awesome. 
Every single day he tries his best to take care of mama and I. My mama, she works hard every single day to try and understand daddy and to keep him safe. As for me, I work hard trying to keep them both happy, taken care of and ahead. There are not enough hours in the day to take care of them, my family and myself and of course my grandma, friends and working. But I do the best I can and let the Lord take care of what I can’t. Or at least watch over it while I’m working on or with something else.
Mike is working and enjoying it and making a living. 
He bought himself a new to him 2007 pick up. 
He and I spent the afternoon together visiting some friends
and doing a little bit of shopping. He still not a good cook or even good at planning meals but with a little help here and there he’s learning.
My elderly gentleman that I take care of, George, wanted to bake bread the other day. 
He used to make 5 loaves of bread a week and has been talking about it for a couple of weeks. So one day we made bread. Of course it was a cold Minnesota day so by time it was time for me to leave to drive bus it wasn’t ready to bake but his nephew baked it later and they said it was awesome. So once George is settled in his new home we’ll make some more.
Minnesota weather. It really has been a very different winter here. We’ve had the most mild winter I remember. Except for when it’s cold, than it’s very cold like today and tomorrow. 15-30 below. And last week we got about 6” of snow. Now nothing compared to our friends to the east though.
Yesterday I took a fan bus to the Target Center. Both my towns, Aitkin and Crosby-Ironton schools, have an amazing dance teams and both teams made it to state finals. 
I told Mike that he couldn’t afford to buy me flowers this year. He has always, for as long as he’s been working, sent me flowers for Valentine’s. Last year he sent me the big teddy and a small bouquet of roses. This year he sent me the little teddy with Michael on it and a card that says …. you said you didn’t want flowers. I love my son!!!!
So for now, that is my life. Well really there’s lots more but even if I ever get a chance to re-read my post there is only so much time. If you’ve stayed long enough to read this, you are really awesome. If you skipped it to the end, well that’s okay too cuz you stayed a bit anyways. If you clicked delete, that’s okay too.
I hope you all had an awesome Valentine’s day. I got to spend it with Mike, friends, my parents, my grandma and her sister and a quiet evening with Jim. It was a wonderful day here.
Take care and have a blessed Sunday. Remember, even when life really stinks there are more things to be thankful for than you can count. I’m learning this.
I know I should really spend the day with him but I did all day yesterday and Monday and I’m taking him and mama out for a steak birthday dinner tonight so I snuck home the back way and have 4 hours to myself. I am in the need of a bit of me time since things hardly ever go the way I plan them. I am not complaining, not one little bit however I am going to enjoy the me time so I can go out and enjoy my daddy’s birthday dinner.
The scale is moving in the right direction. I am now down 6 lbs. from the first of the year and have gotten over my sugar and bread cravings. It feels awesome. I am also doing something else, I am giving up that pretend sugar too. You know that stuff in sugar free gum and candy and it’s also in light foods. Heck if I don’t need the real stuff why substitute the pretend stuff. I am a gum chewer, it makes dieting easier for me but since I chomped my cheek 3 times 2 weeks ago and 2 times last week I have decided enough is enough. So it’s been 4 days no gum. It’s hard…I don’t really have any “bad” habits like the smoking, drinking, drugs however I have the bad habits of eating to much and chewing gum. So a work in progress.
Exercise isn’t right up there but that takes time that I have little of so just get in some extra steps, extra moving, dancing alone…I can’t really dance, and am going to hook up the Wii and see if I can get Jim interested to play a bit with me. It’s a thought anyways and worth a try. He isn’t into helping me with to much in life though he’s a good husband I am just very independent and he’s use to me not needing to much. After 35 years I’m not sure how to change that, needing him more or at least telling him I do. Another work in progress.
I got some of my Valentine decorations up, I am going to vacuum and mop the kitchen floor, do Mike’s laundry (he didn’t ask me, I’m just doing it cuz today I have more time than he does) and than I am going to go into my craft room and create something. Not sure what yet but something. Even if I just putz with my beads or work on my agate flowers or figure out where I want to put the crystal door knobs I am going to use for hanging stuff. By the way, if anyone has those old crystal door knobs they don’t want, have collected and not sure what to do with, I’ll take them off your hands. I’ll pay shipping too if you’d like. I so want to make a coat rack by my backdoor and I think they would be awesome for that and what better way to use from the past to make something useful in the present.
Take care my friends, thank you for staying around and reading. I went back to my daddy post just so I could smile a bit. It’s hard, that’s not going to change but to be able to smile amidst it all, well that’s the way it is.
Blessings to you all!
I want to share a little bit with you. Not the diet stuff or exercise stuff, just my life stuff.
You all know about daddy. You all know about mama. Well in the past two weeks, WOW!!!!
My mama has a car, a car she hates, won’t drive, but wants. It hasn’t been started most of the winter cuz….well she won’t drive. I do 99% of the driving them here and there and daddy tries once in awhile a short trip to town the back way where there isn’t people or other cars. Anyways, the car has been just sitting there, resting for the winter until just maybe when it’s 75*, sunny, no wind, no people, no cars, no holiday, no …. well nothing, my mama will take the car to town. Mama decided it needs to run and move. She tells daddy, daddy looks at her like a two headed monkey cuz he doesn’t even remember about the car or hates the car so much doesn’t want anything to do with it. So at 7:00 at night mama calls, “your father can’t get the hood up on the car” why I ask, “I want it started”, why I ask, “because I do”. UGH!!! I am almost home from a full day of driving bus, fixing their plumbing, cleaned up and changing her sewing room around so that she can work on a puzzle, fixing them dinner and …….. well a full day. I stop, daddy is out there freezing looking at the car asking me now what. So I try to start it, he did that earlier in the day…the try part…and left the key on so the battery is dead. So I try to open the hood, it’s frozen shut…it’s had 2’ of snow on it. Work at it and work at it and finally beat the crap out of it and it pops open. Okay let’s just use the booster pack, “what’s a booster pack daddy” says. and start it….can’t the battery’s way to dead, okay let’s jump it, like this, he asks and he jumps up and down a good 10 times while I just give him that two headed monkey look. No, like this and I do and show and try again. Damn that car it hates me too. Okay let’s just put a battery charger on it and let it trickle over night and I’ll come tomorrow and start it. “Battery charger?” It’s a good thing I work at both houses so I know where things are. Tromp up to the house, get the batter charger, extension cord and make the mistake of asking “what outlet works in the barn?” Outlets????? Okay got it, got daddy back in the house where he’s now past frozen turd and I go home…..
Ready for today? ……… really want to read more? ……
Today, got the car started….after threatening that I was going to take it to the junk yard where they can squish it. Darn car still hates me. Wait, you’ll see. Put everything way, the charger, the extension cord, the shovel, scrapper, …….. everything. And look at the gas gauge…empty…you have got to be kidding me. Dang it I wanted to just get it started and go home. Not happening today. Told daddy lets go for a ride. I check the car, lights, tires and all seems fine and off we go. We get 5 miles down the road and the car starts to sound funny, feel funny….tire? flat? No couldn’t be they just put almost new tires on it last summer. Guess what……yet a flat…not just any flat a blew out the tire it will never ever hold air again flat. Okay, I’m farm girl, I can change a tire in a blizzard if I have too. If daddy had left the jack in there. He needed it for ………… well he’s not sure what he needed it for and by the ways, where’d you put it…….Me? Me? I didn’t put it any where's. Call AAA. We’ll be there 30 minutes. Daddy is now a basket case, his easy day has sunk to the bottom and his fretting, antsy and upset. I say let’s let the dogs out and wait for the man to come. I get out, shut my door and hear a sound…. you know that SHIT sound? The one where the door gets locked behind you sound. Daddy has now locked my out of the car and hasn’t a clue how to let me in. The keys, in the ignition cuz I didn’t need them we were just going to wait outside the car. He can’t hear me, he can’t understand me….I’ll call his cell phone, he always has that on. Yep he does but can’t remember why it’s making that noise and he yells for me to pick it up. Me? Me? Oh God help me. Finally, after 20 minutes of trying to get him to settle down and listen, don’t fret I’m fine, find the lock, here’s the lock…follow my finger you’ll see the lock. When that door unlocked he jump out kicked the car, hit the car, swore at the car because it locked me out. How could it be so mean to his daughter. Okay, you can laugh, I did and did it a lot. Had to what other thing could a person do? The tow truck guy came, 45 minutes later….his jack didn’t work…had to call another tow truck guy with another jack. Mama calls, have to go to the clinic her meds are ready, don’t forget milk and bread. What…milk and bread and meds….
I have to go to work now. It’s almost past time but I had to share….just had to. There are tons of days like this, just different but the same. I have more to share if you’d like to listen. You have to laugh otherwise there is no other way to deal with dementia mom and Alzheimer dad.
Daddy says when I’m leaving, stop by on your way home, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you. REALLY!!!!
I started off so strong last week. I did great, I loss 3 lbs and than Thursday came, I was 50 hours into my work week already and still had 30 hours to go. And I lost all energy for exercising and cooking my planned menu. By time I got home last night after midnight I had gained back my three pounds and my neck and shoulder were toast. Between working there’s still the needs of my parents and grandma. Now I am not complaining at all, it’s my life and the Lord promises not to give us more than we can handle. So it’s just one day at a time.
This is a new week and tomorrow is a new day and I will again work my hardest to become a few pounds lighter, a bit stronger and most importantly a bit more relaxed with all that this life of mine has to offer. My neck and shoulders will be much more happy, my mind will be more restful and my body will feel so much better. And just maybe the nightmares will quit too. 1:30 every single night I have nightmares, why????
The plan. Stairs 3x this week, 3x each time. Planks, starting at the beginning so working my way up to 30 seconds this week. 4x this week. 1000-1200 calories a day, veggies, protein, little fruit. No breads, no sugar but natural sugar.
There are lots of plans and ideas and ways to do this but for me I’m sticking with simply, eat less and move more. I can work on a better plan later on.
Good luck this week to everyone working on getting healthy one way or another.
Blessings my friends!
