It has been a very, very long time since I have posted anything. I have kept up with a lot of you and am very proud that you all are either improving, working on or continuing your journeys in health and life. I don’t always comment but do know that I have lurked and kept tabs.
There is no way I can catch you up to where I am in life but I can tell you that life hasn’t been easy though I know it’s not suppose to be. After losing Cindy becoming an only child has been a challenge but to make the challenge harder is watching my daddy leave us piece by piece and watching a once quiet mom become angry and frustrated and hard to console. Along with that Mike has lost 3 very awesome jobs but none due to anything he’s done, one because of no money, one because the company laid off everyone and one because the promised position never materialized. We have pulled together as a family to make sure he’s still able to stay in his own home and keep his car and he’s worked many temp jobs to help too. But it has made the money issues hard on top of the mental issues. However, there is a silver lining and Mike got a new full time 40 hours a week job that starts next week and once he’s trained in things will be much better for him and us.
Stress is not good for anyone and some handle it differently than others but for me I eat and sleep and struggle though each day. I work as many hours as I can and that means 2 part time jobs that add up to about 65 hours every couple of weeks plus home care for my parents that adds up to just about every other waking hour except after 7 at night I insist I am home for Jim and Mike (unless the phone rings and I’m needed). Yes, people say you have to take care of you to take care of others but that isn’t always possible no matter what others think or do. At least for me, it hasn’t worked. I have gained every single pound I lost back in 2012 and I’ve lost all tone. I am a big pile of fat.
However………….yep, it’s time to figure this out because there are some thing’s I can’t change but some thing's I have to.
I have set a goal for 2015. I am going to go hiking. I am going to take time each day to work towards a hiking trail I have already picked out. Heard of Tettegouche State Park? It’s north of Duluth. It has 23 miles of hiking trails, water falls and the Baptism River. I have been dreaming about the Baptism River for the past few weeks. When I was little my family and I use to camp, hike and fish there and I am being drawn there. So even though I am far from being in shape for this camping/hiking trip I am going to work for it. I will have to be able to hike for 3 days, carrying a 40lb backpack up and down very rough trails. Mike has said he’d join me as my partner as long as he’s able and even though I don’t think a person should hike alone, if he can’t join me I’m still planning on doing it.
I haven’t a plan yet on how to really prepare but I am an outdoor person, I have canoed hundreds of miles in the BWCA, walk/hike many miles and know quite a bit about outdoor life so am pretty sure this is something I can do and in the process find a place for me in this new life that has been bestowed on me. I can be an only child taking care of her parents and her grandma. I can be a wife that truly loves the man of her dreams and give him the love that he needs to know this. I can be a mom of an adult son that is really awesome and gives everything his all. I can be a friend to the most wonderful people in the world. Kim, Sally and Terri are my life line on days where I just can’t go on. They listen, care and love me no matter what.
So I am back, if you’ll have me that is. Healthy wealthy and wise …. still not but learning.